Lose Weight Find Life

Is there someone in your life that needs you to listen….really listen to them?

Listening is different than hearing.  Hearing is waiting for the other person to finish talking so you can say what you want to say.  Try listening to someone in your life.  Listen to what they are saying and what they aren’t saying, what are the feelings and emotions they seem to be experiencing.  Ask yourself if you listened beyond the superficialities?  Ask yourself if you paid attention to the words, tone of voice, and body language clues?  Were you truly present with this person?

Before becoming a coach, I realized that I half-way listened.  We are all good at multi-tasking including listening.  For example, when I was on my computer and my kids wanted to tell me something, I’d “listen” to them plus divide my attention with what I was doing on the computer.  What message was I unknowingly sending to them?  When it comes to listening to my family and friends, my clients, and members, I no longer multi-task.  I listen without distractions and give them my complete attention.  My relationships and communications have improved substantially.

You can practice this on your own.  Wherever you are, listen.  Listen to the immediate sounds and also if you deeply listen, you’ll hear other sounds that you wouldn’t have without true listening.  Go outside, you can shut your eyes or not, and listen.  You may hear the birds chirping, off in the background a crow or one of your neighbors mowing the lawn, or kids playing in the faint background.  When you deeply listen, it is amazing.  This is also great to do when the cravings and urge hits to stress eat.  It takes you out of the immediate environment creating the urge and focuses your attention elsewhere.  It is a great tool.  Try it!

Once you’ve gotten into the habit of listening better, check on the impact it has on your relationships in your life.  One of the gifts of coaching that I learned is to truly listen deeply.  It is truly rewarding as a parent, wife, friend, coach, and employee.  It takes your relationships to a deep, meaningful level.  You will feel closer to those special people in your life.  After all, we all want to be listened to.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, Certified Life Coach
Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

The economy is difficult right now.  Times are tough.  Housing, gas and food are at an all-time high.  I have a client that gets her meals through a fast food drive thru taking advantage of their dollar menu.  She believes that it is cost-effective and a wise financial choice, however, is it a wise healthy choice?

When buying groceries, how much you spend depends on where you push the shopping cart.  Do you shop the perimeter of the supermarket?  The essentials of a healthy department are located outside of the processed foods up and down the center aisles.

With 75 cents in the produce aisle, you can purchase one serving of fruit such as an apple, a cup of strawberries or a cup of grapes. But that same 75 cents spent in the snack aisle will buy you three times as many servings: three granola bars, 12 Oreos or 25 potato chips.  And if you want to get the most calories for your money, stay near the junk food. Compared to the 400 calories provided by a candy bar, a dollar’s worth of a tomato will go as far as 18 calories.  Look at what 75 cents will get you as far as calories.  You get much more as far as calories.  However, what nutrition are you buying for that 75 cents in the snackaisle.

Because fruits and vegetables are generally more costly than snack foods, many people are having to choose whether to stretch their money on cheaper food and save money or eating healthfully. For those on a tight grocery budget, steering clear of higher-priced produce seems to makes sense.   It is hard to lose weight when junk food is so cheap.

But is spending grocery money on snack food cost-effective?  What is cheap?  Junk food buys ore calories but the are empty, void of nutrition calories.  You are paying for sugar, fat, and zero quality nutrition.

There are ways to eat healthy and feed your body without emptying your wallet.

* Stores have ads every week to get you in their store.  Use them!
* Buy fruits and vegetables that are in-season, more plentiful thus less in cost.
* Shop at Farmer’s Markets as they are usually more inexpensive than the grocery stores.
* While the convenience of bagged and pre-cut produce is nice, it is more expensive.  Do your own preparation and buy whole fruits and vegetables.
* Canned and frozen fruits and vegetables are less expensive than fresh.  If you don’t overcook, they will retain their nutritional benefits and last longer.
* Frozen produce offers more nutrition because it is picked and frozen almost immediately, rather than picked and transported.
* Buy meat in bulk and freeze what you don’t need right away.
* Purchase cheese in blocks and shred it yourself rather than buy pre-shredded bags.

The economy is at a tough time right now.  Lots of financial insecurity and jobs unsure of.  Don’t let your health or weight loss suffer or be compromised.  A place that people can try to make up costs is in food.  Maybe it is a good deal price-wise but it is a good deal health-wise?  A wise food choice is more than calories per buck.  Look at the nutrition you get and that is the best choice of all.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

What do you fear?  How real are those fears?  The most common fears are the fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, the fear of change and, surprisingly, the fear of success.

As real as these fears may seem, most of them are only imaginary and beliefs that you’ve created for yourself.   I like to refer to these scenarios as our stories. We have an amazing ability to make up stories and assumptions, and then to believe them as our reality and fabricate some F.E.A.R.: False Events Appearing Real.

Your mind, as wonderful as it is, has great difficulty in discerning between what’s real and what’s made up or imagined as a story. Your mind tends to perceive all your stories and imaginings as being real.  As children, we picked up adults and even other childrens’ beliefs, opinions, agendas for us and made them our experience and reality.  We carry those into our adulthood as our reality, who and what we are.  We don’t re-evaluate them and see if they truly fit us as we are today and even back then.

The primary functions of your mind are protection and survival.  Because of this, if your mind perceives a threat, it activates the fight or flight mechanism which prepares your body to go into battle or to flee. When you then feel the rush of the adrenaline flow through your body (triggered by the activation of this fight or flight mechanism), this just validates your perceived “story”: There must indeed be some threat. Often you end up pumped up and keyed up for no true reason because the threat was not real after all. This reaction—adrenaline and the fight or flight mechanism—also takes a huge toll on your body and your health. Prolonged exposure to excessive ongoing adrenaline releases will eventually tear down your immune system.

Whether or not you are aware of it, you will tend to believe your stories to be true. It then becomes easy to build one false story upon another. From there, you risk constructing an entire fear-based belief system and way of life—a life that’s very limiting and restrictive and founded on a couple of made-up rear-based stories.

But there is hope and another choice…F.E.A.R.: Face Everything And Rejoice.   This FEAR is important in combating and overcoming emotional overeating.

When you face your fears and confront them rather than letting your emotions and assumptions run wild in your mind, you’ll find much of what you used to fear was not nearly as threatening as you once believed it was. You can begin to dispel the stories and assumptions, and you’ll get freedom from all this old fear. The primary difference of Face Everything and Rejoice will change you from the inside out and allow you to feel less like a victim and more in control of your life and eating.  It is the realization that your old limiting beliefs are not based in your true reality and not who you are.

Moving from the destructive, limiting, mindless and highly reactive F.E.A.R. to the hopeful, mindful and more responsive F.E.A.R, and separating false fear from fact, is as simple as asking yourself two simple questions:

“Is it true?” and “Where’s the proof?”

When you begin to really look at, examine, and evaluate situations clearly, you’ll often find your initial reaction may have been more intense, emotionally-based and irrational (a story) than actual reality.  The key is to finding the pause and evaluating from a calm stance within yourself so you don’t turn to food.

Three other great questions to ask yourself when you start to feel fear are, “And then what?”, “What is the worst that could happen?” and “Can I handle that?” Ask and answer these questions and you’ll allow yourself to see things more clearly, which allows you to create a more grounded response that doesn’t include food. This response will allow you to make a choice which is always more empowering, rather than from some old, out-dated unconscious conditioning. The effect of this process is less head hunger and emotional eating.

When you respond this way, you’ll discover you can, and will, act in a much more adaptable manner. In other words, you’ll handle these situations by overriding the fight or flight mode, and create the intention for yourself that everything will be okay.

There is one affirming phrase I’d like to recommend to you above all the others:

I can handle this!  There’s nothing I can’t handle.

When you’re able to say this to yourself as a self-intervention (even if you don’t fully believe it), your mind starts to accept it. Remember, your mind may perceive some things as real whether or not they are. So, just as your mind accepts the negative, false fear-based stories it makes up as “real”, it will also tend to believe, even before you actually feel it to be true, the self-reassurance and confidence you instill merely because you think it and say it to yourself.

You might as well use this dynamic to your benefit and to your advantage. Once you’ve begun to formulate a different and more positive response, you may finally fully realize there is no threat at all.

You have a choice: The old F.E.A.R. or the new F.E.A.R. I know which one you desire and deserve, and I support you in creating a life of freedom through positive empowering responsiveness and self-intervention.

It is time you choose to rejoice!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

Make it a part of your daily routine to find ways to move your body.   Would you go through your day without brushing your teeth?  No!  The same applies with moving your body.  Climb stairs if given a choice between escalators or elevators.  Walk your dog; play with your kids; mow the lawn. Anything that moves your limbs is not only a fitness tool, it’s a stress buster.  Think ‘move’ in small increments of time.  It doesn’t have to be an hour in the gym or a 45-minute aerobic dance class or tai chi or kickboxing.  But that’s great when you’re up to it. Meanwhile, move more.

There are no bad days when you exercise!  Do you want more energy?  Exercise.  Do you want to raise your self-esteem?  Move more!  Exercise not only helps your body and weight loss but also you mentally and emotionally.  Exercise does so much for you inside and outside!

Thought for the day: Cha, Cha, Cha…. Do it!!!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, Certified Life Coach
Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

We are on a quest to lose weight.  Like you, I’ve tried countless healthy and unhealthy (also known as crazy) diets.  Some sure ways not to lose weight are:

Way #1:  Choose a fad diet.
There is a Magic Bullet but it is a speedy, small blender; not a fad diet.  There is no magic bullet found in a healthy diet. If you put in the time and effort your reward is weight loss and maintenance.

Way #2:  Don’t exercise.
According to the National Weight Control Registry, the exercise of choice is walking.  Be active!  Before you eat something that is not a healthy choice, thing….”what will it take to burn it off and is it worth it?”  You’ll either wear it or walk it off.

Way #3:  Diet alone.  You don’t need support.
Studies show you can lose twice as much when you have a support person to share your experience, share motivation and challenges.  Remember, there is strength in numbers….and in losing weight and obtaining support, the more the merrier.

Way #4:  Pile on the extras.
Start with a healthy salad but when piled like a skyscraper with cheese, avocado, thick salad dressing, the salad becomes a foundation to support the high caloric food choices.   Have a salad and use dressing and condiments as a compliment for extra flavor rather than piling on the condiments and slather on the dressing and throw in a little bit of salad….NOT.

Way #5:  Deprive yourself.
Incorporate some foods you enjoy.  Follow the guideline of 90% of the time you make healthy food choices/10% fun foods for you.  Alternatively, six days of the week, make healthy food choices and one day a week enjoy more of relaxed food choices.  Think long term and not just the immediate as far as weight loss.  We didn’t gain it overnight and it will take time well invested in losing it too.  If you feel restricted, the opposite of that is a binge.  Either extreme is not healthy nor promote weight loss.  Yo-yo dieting is caused due to extreme restriction followed up with a binge (or two or three…).

Rather than have tunnel vision and try to lose excess weight rapidly and deprive yourself, expand your vision and look at this as a lifestyle change.  Remember, one choice, one meal or even one day does not make or break a diet.  However, long term, the success is in the choices you make.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, Certified Life Coach
Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

For many of us with weight challenges and emotional eating tendencies, when the thought hits to eat something, there’s very little that stops us.  We go for it.

What about if you could pause?  Give yourself just a moment of pause.  Before you emotionally eat, ask yourself the question of “Will eating this (insert food here) make it better?”  Also, what are your goals?  Is your goal to wear a certain size, weigh a particular number on the scale or even wear a special outfit?  If so, you could ask yourself if eating the unhealthy food choice will get you closer to reaching your goal that is so important to you.

While figuring out your food that works best for you and your body after weight loss surgery is important, in my strong opinion, the real success from weight loss surgery occurs after your surgery and when you know what dietary food choices work for you.

We didn’t need weight loss surgery because we were physically hungry.  We ignored and turned off the physical cues and responded to the emotional emptiness and uncomfortable emotions we felt by turning to food.  Food is a fix all – it doesn’t talk back, it doesn’t let us down, it is always there and available to numb and take the edge off of life.  Once we’ve had surgery, we focus on our bodies and the physical components of losing weight.  We may even have plastic surgery.  Then what?  Many post-ops think they are finished.  Done.

Just because our physical body has changed, the inside hasn’t.  The issues and reasons we turn to emotional eating are still there.  They may be put aside from the high and excitement of losing weight but they are still there.  Losing weight doesn’t erase the history of why we became morbidly obese.  The surgery isn’t brain surgery.  The emotional reasons we turn to food are still there.  After we focus on our bodies and losing weight, you aren’t finished.  Avoid weight regain by dealing with the insides.  Why do you have food triggers?  Why do you turn to food or want to use food to cope with emotions and situations?  These are the reasons that eventually will cause weight regain or white knuckling it which is a miserable way to live your life.

When you deal with the issues that causes us to crave food to help us cope, you change your insides and develop strategies so you don’t have to have the strong drive to food.  You are in the driver’s seat of your life, you are in charge rather than food in charge of you.  When you deal with the inside, the outside (your body and weight loss) will take care of itself without the weight regain and food issues resurfacing and in your face.  I know for me, when I regained my weight after years of easily maintaining my weight, it was due to a transition that came up in my life.  I worked with my own coach to deal with my issues so that food wasn’t that source of comfort that we turn to when times are difficult.

When you eat over emotions, the situation or emotions are still there.  Does eating make it better?  Emotional eating truly does not make anything better.  On top of what you ate over, you now feel guilty, shame and other negative emotions.  Emotional eating only complicates the emotions causing you to feel worse.

So, the next time you find yourself wanting to emotionally eat, ask yourself “Will eating make it better?”  Weight loss success is being able to answer a resounding NO!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Back On Track Facilitator

Do the stresses and problems that come up sometimes get to you?  I know they do for me sometimes.  As much as we would like to have problem-free lives, everyone experiences crises that test their coping skills. Many people turn to food in times of stress because it can provide a temporary distraction, replenish energy and induce a feeling of calm.  Unfortunately, eating in response to crisis usually results in weight gain, which creates its own cycle of depression and anxiety.  I know I’m not telling any of you anything you don’t already know. 

Because stress is often a common precursor to overeating it’s important to become a good healthy crisis manager.  Instead of having the label of  “I’m a STRESS EATER or I’m an EMOTIONAL OVEREATER”  How powerful would it be to create the label, “I’m a stress exerciser”  or “I”m an Emotional OverExerciser”  Yeah,  I know it’s a stretch, but I can tell you I’m slowly becoming a crisis EXERCISER.  Having to deal with my previous challenges these past couple of years I made a decision to keep an “emergency” pair of tennis shoes in my trunk and I’ve CHOSEN to use those emergency pair of tennis shoes on many occasion due to extreme stress and crisis.

So, where I used to pull into the nearest drive-through for some comfort foods, walk through the local convenience store for a smorgasbord of snacky, junk foods, now the lacing up of my shoes is slowly becoming a better comfort than ANY food ever could.

Success from weight loss surgery obviously happens as a result of our tool of the surgery.  However the real success happens in our choices – one choice at a time.  We choose to use our tool of the surgery.  Choose it as your partner in losing weight, maintaining your weight, and finding all the wonder of living your best life in fulfilling your goals and dreams.

Progress and CHANGE can happen.  One choice at a time!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Back On Track Facilitator

When making healthier choices in high-protein foods (such as meat, fish, poultry and eggs), going with lower-fat varieties is half the equation. The other half: how you choose to prepare those foods. Some cooking methods can essentially cancel out the benefits you gained in choosing lower-fat products. Examples are:

Deep-frying chicken
Sautéing meat in a cream sauce
Having some salad with your salad dressing (more dressing than salad!)
Frying an egg in butter.

Healthier methods, on the other hand, include dry-grilling and baking.

Examples: Broiling fish without butter, grilling eggs or meat without any added oil.

This is also why it’s important to know precisely how your restaurant meals are being prepared. Ask the food server how the meal is usually prepared. If you feel the cooking method or ingredients are high in fat or calories, specifically ask for the meal to be prepared in another, healthier way.

To lose weight, you need to take charge of your food choices.  Many times when we go out to eat, our goals to lose weight can be put on the back burner to indulge in food choices offered by restaurants.  While you don’t want to feel deprived, you also don’t want to give in to the temporary indulgences of a restaurant.  For me, it is a challenge to avoid the restaurant mentality of getting back on track “tomorrow.”

Some of the strategies I’ve learned that work for me are reviewing the menu of a restaurant on line and deciding what I will eat in advance.  I then skip the menu and getting caught up in all of the usually unhealthy food choices and huge portions.  Also, by avoiding the menu and deciding what you will order in advance, you aren’t tempted by the photos of the food on the menu.

I also keep the bread they put on the table before you meal away from me.  Even better, I’ll ask the server to skip the bread basket entirely.

I also request a to go container at the same time that I order.  Before I take a bite, I will divide the restaurant huge multiple sized portions.  I will keep on my plate an appropriate portion and put the rest in the container.  By doing this, you avoid to continue eating past a normal portion.  Also, you get more meals at home and enjoy what you ate at the restaurant again.

I’ll also remember that whatever choices I make at the restaurant will stay with me after I walk out the door.  If I succumb to the temptations of eating out, that will show up on the scale and possibly serve as a trigger to continue poor food choices for a few days, weeks, etc.

Eating out is fun.  No cooking, preparation or clean up done on your part.  It can also be a trap for choices that you wouldn’t make otherwise at home.  Redefine what it means for you to eat out as fun.  Rather than food as fun, define fun by enjoying the company of those that are at your table.  Change your focus on food to family, friends, business associates.  Truly, the real purpose of going out to eat is to enjoy the ambiance of the restaurant with those people that you choose to join you.

Remember, you are paying for it so you can choose to have it done YOUR way.  Remember that you are in charge and responsible for your food choices that you make at the restaurant.  You’ll either leave the restaurant feeling awesome about the healthy food choices you made and enjoying the experience without leaving your weight loss commitment in the parking lot.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Back On Track Facilitator

I’m fat. I’m too skinny. I’d be happy if I were taller, shorter, had curly hair, straight hair, a smaller nose, bigger muscles, longer legs.

Do any of these statements sound familiar? Are you used to putting yourself down? If so, you’re not alone. As a weight loss surgery patient, you’re going through a ton of changes in your body. And as your body changes, so does your image of yourself. Lots of people have trouble adjusting, and this can affect their self-esteem.

Why Are Self-Esteem and Body Image Important?

Self-esteem is all about how much people value themselves, the pride they feel in themselves, and how worthwhile they feel. Self-esteem is the opinion and reputation you have of yourself. Self-esteem is important because feeling good about yourself can affect how you act. A person who has high self-esteem will make healthy choices in their food, fitness, and life in general, is more in control of his or her behavior, and will enjoy life more.

Body image is how a person feels about his or her own physical appearance. For many people, body image can be closely linked to self-esteem.

What Influences a Person’s Self-Esteem?

Transition from Overweight/Morbidly Obese to Losing Weight

Some of us struggle with self-esteem because after losing weight, the body goes through many changes. These changes, combined with a natural desire to feel accepted, mean it can be tempting for us to compare ourselves to others. We may compare ourselves to the people around us or to actors and celebs we see on TV, in movies, or in magazines. But it’s impossible to compare ourselves to others because the changes that come with losing weight are different for everyone.

Outside Influences

Family life can sometimes influence a person’s self-esteem. Some parents spend more time criticizing their children and the way they look than praising them. We carry this forward into our adulthood. This criticism may reduce a person’s ability to develop good self-esteem.

People may also experience negative comments about the way they look from others. Sometimes, by losing weight, it can threaten others’ image and role in the relationship with us.

Healthy Self-Esteem

If you have a positive body image, you probably like and accept yourself the way you are. This healthy attitude allows you to explore other aspects of your life, achieving your goals and reaching your dreams. Challenge yourself physically and mentally because developing these parts of yourself can help boost your self-esteem.

A positive, optimistic attitude can help people develop strong self-esteem. For example, saying, “Hey, I’m human,” instead of “Wow, I’m such a loser,” when you’ve made a mistake. Or not blaming others when things don’t go as expected.

Knowing what makes you happy and how to meet your goals can help you feel capable, strong, and in control of your life. A positive attitude and a healthy lifestyle (such as exercising and eating right) are a great combination for building good self-esteem.

Tips for Improving Your Body Image

Some people think they need to change how they look or act to feel good about themselves. But actually all you need to do is change the way you see your body and how you think about yourself.

The first thing to do is recognize that your body is your own, no matter what shape, size, or color it comes in. But it is no one’s business but your own what your body is like — ultimately, you have to be happy with yourself.

Next, identify which aspects of your appearance you can realistically change and which you can’t. Everyone (even the most perfect-seeming celebrities) have things about themselves that they can’t change and need to accept — like their height, for example, or their shoe size.

If there are things about yourself that you want to change and can (such as how fit you are), do this by making goals for yourself. For example, if you want to get fit, make a plan to exercise every day and eat nutritious foods. Then keep track of your progress until you reach your goal. Meeting a challenge you set for yourself is a fantastic way to boost self-esteem!

When you hear negative comments coming from within yourself, tell yourself to stop. Try building your self-esteem by giving yourself three compliments every day. While you’re at it, every evening list three things in your day that you feel good about and gave you pleasure. It can be anything from the way the sun felt on your face, the sound of your favorite band, or the way someone laughed at your jokes. By focusing on the good things you do and the positive aspects of your life, you can change how you feel about yourself.

As you fill your life with healthy self-esteem, your body image will adjust too. When your life is filled with positive things that you enjoy, bring you joy and are passionate about, you no longer will need to turn to emotional eating to fill that void in your life.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Back on Track Facilitator

We all know about the health benefits to exercise.  There is less of an emphasis on the inner reasons to exercise.  There are many, many inner reasons to be as fit inside as outside.

Begin shifting your perceptions of movement from something that you have to do to lose weight or change your body, to more immediate gratifying internal factors:

* instant gratification of enhanced psychological well-being.

* movement feels good.

* social aspects of exercise (work out with a friend or trainer).

* stress reduction.

* connection with body.

* better sleep.

* relaxation.

* eating better.

* opportunity to be outside.

* breathing fresh air.

* thinking clearer.

* movement is something you want to do (not something you should do).

Another main difference is that active people expect fitness to be fun, while inactive people dread the event.  Of course, it you haven’t been active in a while, it may take a while for exercise to feel good. It’s normal that you’ll be out of shape, out of breath, and have a tendency to get sore if you overdo it. So how do you take an activity that’s foreign and give it a positive spin?  Go slow and don’t overwork things in the beginning.

Treat your body gently and with loving kindness.  Find ways to focus on the IMMEDIATE payoffs of the exercise itself, such as feeling better, learning new skills, or having fun, or better yet — reward yourself. Develop a daily, weekly, and monthly reward list. Get a tape recorder and stroke yourself with “Yes I can” messages. Pay yourself, and enlist others to contribute to your fund. Our partners are always asking how they can help us achieve our goals, so involve them somehow in the process. Make this time for yourself and being with yourself or exercise with others.  Mostly, make it enjoyable!

As you exercise, check in with yourself.  How are you feeling – a higher self-esteem, feeling better about yourself, having fun???  Remember these wonderful feelings so you’ll actually want to enjoy them again!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC,
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Back On Track Facilitator