Lose Weight Find Life

I love that saying – Believe In Yourself.  I sign off all my posts with it because I believe all of us need to hear it – I know I do.  I even have a bracelet and a ring that is engraved with “Believe In Yourself” that is my favorite.  To me, it is more than a saying.  It is a practice, a way of life and a way of being with myself.

To believe in yourself means believing in yourself always, in all times, having confidence in you and who you are.  That means whether it comes to a difficult project at work, raising your children, or losing weight.  In weight loss, we must, must, must believe in ourselves.  Our past attempts at dieting have only brought us closer and provided lessons to get us to the point where we lose weight and keep it off.

Unfortunately, it has happened many times when I talk with subscribers of my blog and my clients.  Someone will tell me that he or she can’t lose weight.  They go on to tell me how many times they’ve failed or aren’t disciplined enough.  Their life is unmanageable and they just don’t have what it takes to lose weight.  I hear “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t” many times – too many times.  After they’ve told me all about their things they can’t do, I ask them to describe to me the successes they’ve experienced and challenges they have overcome.  I guarantee you that you have successes and you have overcome challenges.  See where I’m going?  Weight loss is no different – you can have success and can overcome challenges.  You need to change your vocabulary and eliminate the reasons and times that you tell yourself that you can’t to the pure and simple fact that YOU CAN.

As that person has told me how many times they can’t, I have to give it to them that, at the time they are telloing me, they are right.  There is no way that someone will make long-lasting changes in their lifestyle to support a weight loss with the ‘I can’t’ attitude.

If you tell yourself you can’t learn another language, you won’t learn another language.

Tell yourself you can’t play golf, you’ll never play golf.

Say ‘I can’t’ get organized. You won’t get organized.

Now, this is not saying that anyone in the world can do anything he or she wants to do. Not everyone could be an opera singer. Not everyone could be an Olympic gold medal winner.  But, how will you know that you can’t do something you truly want to do, if you don’t give yourself a fighting chance?  Past attempts that have not been successful in losing weight mean nothing to your future.  Actually, they provide lessons to help you move forward and reach your weight loss goals.  You’ll know what didn’t work and why it didn’t work only to take the action to discover what does work for you.  Past attempts that haven’t proven successful only mean you are closing to determining what will work for you.

It’s inevitable — saying, ‘You can’t’ GUARANTEES ‘You won’t.’

Now that you know why saying ‘I can’t', eliminates any chance of success, there’s a very simple way of achieving more of what you set out to do.  All you have to do is drop the letter “t” from ‘I can’t’ and suddenly you’ll begin to see that everything changes.

Tell yourself ‘I can learn another language’, you’ll get a few language books, and you’ll begin learning a whole new vocabulary.

Tell yourself ‘I can play golf’, you’ll get on the green with a golf instructor who can give you the instruction
you need, and you’ll begin playing golf.

Tell yourself ‘I can get organized’, you’ll begin applying some simple organizing concepts, and you WILL begin to get organized.

You need to give yourself a fighting chance, and that fighting chance begins in your own mind by telling yourself that YOU CAN.  Remember the story of the little train that could.  As he went up the hill, he didn’t tell himself that he “can’t” but actually said “I think I can” and then at the top, exclaimed that “I know I can.”  To tell yourself that you know you can is a first huge step toward your weight loss success.  If you start out saying that you can’t based on past attempts, you’ll add another past attempt rather than a success.  So, repeat after me, “I KNOW I CAN.”

The bottom line is, you have to believe in yourself and see yourself succeeding, before you ever will.  Once you do, success is virtually guaranteed and yours!

Believe In Yourself, (I just love that!)
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

I am a member of an expert panel for weight loss surgery online questions.  I share the following with you as I believe it is something many of us struggle with at one time or another.  Whether we’ve had weight loss surgery or have lost weight without surgery, the concerns expressed here are shared by many of us.

Subject: Sweet Craving After Gastric Bypass

Question: I had gastric bypass surgery 3 years ago and it was extremely successful.  I originally lost a total of 153 lbs.  Recently, for about the past 4 – 6 months, I find myself craving sweets.  I drink about 6 to 10 glasses of water per day, but I also drink about 2 Coke Zero sodas also.  Could the soda be the cause of my cravings, or could it be something else?  I have gained about 38 lbs back over the past 7 months and am trying to work on getting that back off, but the sweet cravings are there.

Answer: Hi Member,
153 pounds?  That is awesome!  Congratulations on your amazing success.

There are differing opinions within the bariatric professionals as to soda consumption post-op.  The carbonation tends to be more of a concern rather than causing cravings for sweets.  For some patients, they feel that diet soda can cause more cravings but usually cravings for sweet foods tend to be something more.

Unfortunately many RNY post-ops experience a weight regain.  For you to have lost and maintained your weight until the past 7 months having regained 38 pounds, I would ask what has been going on in the past 7 months.  Usually a weight regain can be attributed to a problematic situation or emotions that can lead to emotional overeating, thus the weight regain.  If sugar was an issue you pre-operatively, when a difficult situation or emotions occur of a larger magnitude, it can flip the sugar cravings switch.  How does that resonate for you during the past 7 months.

One of the ways to combat sugar cravings driving that urge to succumb, is to deal with the underlying reason for the cravings.  It could be finances, job, relationships or just an emotionally upsetting situation.  When sugar cravings appear, it is helpful to stop and check in to see what is making you want to turn to sugar rather than a healthy food choice.

What happens when you make a healthy choice and do not give in to the sugar?  When you eat sugar, it also creates a cycle of wanting more, then needed to eat more and repeat the cycle again and again.  Sometimes it takes saying NO to the sugar cravings, stick by it and then starting fresh by staying off sugar.  If you stay off sugar long enough, the cravings can minimize greatly.

Eating sugar can feel like a perpetual merry-go-round and you need to decide to get off.  Once you’re off, avoid sugar entirely or as much as possible.

Lastly, you might check with your bariatric surgeon’s protocol regarding diet soda consumption.  There are opinions that carbonation can compromise the pouch making it more susceptible to stretching.  Plus drinking soda can cause some dehydration replacing the equivalent amounts of water.  If you drink 16 ounces of diet soda, you need to drink 16 more ounces of water over and above what you already do.

Remember that you lost it once and you can lose it again.  You’ve caught it early in only regaining 38 pounds compared to all you’ve lost.  You can and will do this!!

Best of health,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

While standing in line at a grocery store, all of the losing weight and diet articles on every single magazine stood out and made me smile.  How many years I have spent (wasted?) trying to lose weight and keeping it off.  There was a time that I would have purchased most of those magazines in my life-long quest to lose weight and maintain it.

There is always the latest and greatest new fad diet.  Or, a fad diet of years ago will be regenerated as new and improved.  Each one promises dramatic results only to produce zero true, long-lasting results.  Yes, I did lose weight on various fad diets.  I’d lose 10, 20, 50 and even 100 pounds on certain fad diets.  Problem is that I’d gain it all back and then a bonus few additional ones to wear as a result of my fad diet efforts.

The National Health Institute reports that 95% of people that lose weight gain it back and additional pounds, some within a mere two years later.  With a fad diet, you are most certain to be in that 95% group.  It is a simple concept and one that until you understand it you will continue the cycle of yo-yo dieting.  To be in the fortunate 5% that lose weight and keep it you, you live your life by changing your lifestyle.  There are no shortcut fads that will take you and keep you at weight loss success.

Life on a fad diet include unreasonable low calorie restrictions which are harmful to your health that you are hoping to regain and improve.  Fad diets are created equal – cut calories and no or minimal exercise.  When you dramatically cut calories, you will see a rapid weight gain – in the beginning.  After that initial drop in weight, the weight plateaus or slowly comes off.  Life’s challenges and emotions continue and the fad dieter returns to the pre-fat diet eating habits and the yo-yo continues.

If this sounds dismal, it is if you are still on the hunt for a fad diet that will work long-term for permanent results.  However, if you are ready to ditch the fads and go for the real deal, there is an answer for you.  The answer?  You need to change your lifestyle.  If you want a healthy body, you need a healthy lifestyle.
What is a lifestyle change? To change your lifestyle means to replace unhealthy habits with healthy ones, and to do so with persistence and on a consistent basis.  It isn’t something you do for a week or two, only to revert back your old ways…..a lifestyle change redefines who you are.  Changing your lifestyle from one that is unhealthy to one that is healthy will be the best thing that you ever do for yourself.

Your body and even personal happiness is the direct result of your current lifestyle.  You change your lifestyle.  Most people who are unhappy with their bodies are usually holding on to a few bad habits. Once these destructive habits are identified and then replaced with healthy habits their body naturally transforms from one that they despise to one that they are proud of.

To get the body that you want simply determine your unhealthy habits and replace them with healthy ones. Here are the most common unhealthy habits:

• The habit of inactivity. Failing to exercise on a consistent basis is one of the most destructive obstacles for your health and figure. (The key word here is consistent. If you aren’t exercising at least 3-4 times each week then you own this habit.)
• The habit of overeating or emotionally overeating. Consuming calories in excess of your daily caloric needs is one of the main reasons that more adults are overweight today than ever before.
• The habit of empty calories. Filling your diet with foods that hold little to no nutritional value is a great way to expand your waist. (Hint: if a food item is made up of mainly sugar consider it ‘empty’ calories.)
• The habit of procrastination. How many times have you promised yourself that you would start eating healthy and exercising tomorrow, next week, next month or next year?  Each day that you succumb to the habit of procrastination is a day that pulls you farther and farther from your goals.

You can lose weight and improve both your appearance and your health.
You can look and feel great.
You can feel confident and inner happiness.
You can transform yourself into the person that you’ve always wanted to be.

Don’t let another day go by that leaves you a slave to unhealthy habits. Take action now. It is the very best investment you’ll ever make – in you and your health!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

Forgiving is not forgetting; it is actually remembering — remembering and not using your right to hit back.  It’s a second chance for a new beginning.  And the remembering part is particularly important.  Especially if you don’t want to repeat what happened.  ~Desmond Tutu

I struggle with forgiving and forgetting.  I have a couple of people in my life that I think about periodically about forgiving and forgetting.  This is a really hard one for me.  I still don’t have it figured out yet.  For me, forgiving has been the equivalent of wiping the slate clean which I am not willing to do.  There are things these three people have done that I have not been able to forgive.  It isn’t as though this holds me back in my life but I also know that the only person that it hurts really is me.

I particularly like this quote because it makes the distinction that you can forgive but it is important NOT to forget.  Forgetting would mean not to protect yourself and allow hurts to reoccur.  I know without a doubt that would never happen.  I am older now, am an adult, and much smarter in processing things as an adult versus from the child mindset.  Just like all of us have our bumps and bruises on our heart, I have one too.  I can forgive people in my life easily but ones from the past are much more difficult.

I also think that forgiving does not mean that you let the hurtful people back into your life again.  It isn’t as though you pick up and pretend that nothing ever happened in the past.  Forgiving is really a gift that you give to yourself.  It is like picking up a piece of hot coal and holding it in your hand without letting go.  The coal burns your hand but hurts no one else except you.

This quote really spoke to me in a profound way as I consider the one hold-out in my life and it is forgiving these certain people.  Forgiveness is making sense out of what happened, realizing that it isn’t your fault and truly probably has nothing to do with you at all.  Forgiveness is truly letting go of the past, letting yourself off the hook from any negativity you’ve taken on yourself as a result of the situation or people, and move forward full speed ahead without letting the individuals impact you any longer.

It all sounds good as I write this to you.  A bit harder when I think of fully embracing it into my life.  I’m just not quite there yet but getting closer.  I could not have written this to you a year ago because I wouldn’t have felt about it this way.

One of the things I’m focusing on are the lessons that I learned back then from these certain people and the situation and how they can apply to my life.  What did I learn about myself as a result of this being in my past?  What does it say about me because of the person and incredible growth I’ve made as a person and in my own life?  Am I a better person and a better mom to my own kids?  Do I appreciate and value the real things and qualities of my life?  While they are painful, I can say they brought me where I am in my life today.  For that, I am grateful.  They shaped who I am, my own core values and the way that I life in a much deeper way.

Forgive and forget – no, I’m not there yet.  But I am realizing the gifts that hurtful situations have brought to me.  I think that is a big part of forgiving is embracing who you are today as a result.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

For Christmas, I received a Wii Fit.  My husband stood out in subdegree temperatures at 6:00 a.m. in the morning on a Sunday morning to get us one of the very limited quantity a popular store was putting out.  Awh..!  It is so much fun.  This special gift combines a few of the things that are priorities to me – family and fitness.

I’ve been under the weather on/off since receiving it so I’m in the beginning of learning about it.  If you are active and extremely fit, the reviews say that the Wii Fit won’t be challenging enough for you.  From my period of inactivity with my herniated disc in my neck, I’ve been physically limited.  So, for right now where I’m at in my activity level, Wii Fit is great.  It is so much fun!

There are four different categories – Yoga, Strength Training. Balance and Cardio.  It reads your weight, bmi and gives you progress on both along with your center of balance and other important physical factors.  So far, I’ve done Balance and Cardio.  There is a Step program that I love.  I’ve progressed already to the Advanced Step and Free Step because I played it so much.

The best part is that I get to enjoy it with my family.  My sons and I have a competition as to our standings in the various areas.  I’m better at the Step than they are, they are better at the skiing Balance and on others we are neck and neck.  There’s a lot of hooping, hollering, yelling, clapping and cheering going on when we play together.  It is so much fun (oops, I already said that, huh?).

While you may not be able to train for a marathon race with the Wii Fit, you will get in activity and movement into your day.  Rather than watch television or a dvd, we were using Wii Fit and having a blast.  I fight the sedentary zoning out of many video and computer games.  Not so with the Wii Fit.  My sons love it so much and playing with me that they start early in the day asking if we are going to Wii Fit sometime today.  While neither one of them have a weight problem, I worry because obesity runs in both sides of their family.  I look for ways to make sure they are active and have a positive attitude about being active.  I think I’ve found an important tool to use in my quest to make sure they enjoy activity.

I have a problem staying motivated with my exercise and activity.  I find myself thinking about when I’m going to “get” (rather than “have to”) do the Wii Fit.  It brings out the natural competitive streak in us even if it is bettering our own scores and time.  While we just started with our Wii Fit, I can see that my motivation will be kept up easier due to the fun nature of what you get to do and increasing your own scores.  Of course, it also helps to see that I can beat my 13 and 10 year old sons!!

Getting and staying fit, having fun, and enjoying quality family time – the Wii Fit gets my all-around vote.  I’m hooked already!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

As I coach more clients and talk with more weight loss surgery patients, getting and staying back on track is more of a common concern we share.  It is a struggle that I also share myself.  All of us have our thing we are aware of and staying on track is mine.

I’ve devoted a lot of my time and efforts, and am dedicating more of my energies to helping myself and others to back on track.

For many of us, January is a special time to reflect, make promises to ourselves, obtain a new beginning and a fresh start to accomplish our goals.  As January marches on, the shiny new can start to become a bit scratched and loose some of its shine.  Now we’re in February, how are those goals you set in January coming along?  If your goal in January was to be on track with your nutrition, exercise and change in habits for a healthy lifestyle, is your motivation as strong?  Life happens and bumps can occur in the path to be on track.

The road to getting on track and staying on track has speed bumps, detours, work in progress and many other obstacles to get past.  The key to being on track is not being perfect.  Hardly.  If you’ve gotten off on a wrong exit or taken a u-turn on your track to a healthy lifestyle, it is never too late to get right back on your track.  Changing habits is a process and rarely do you do a 180 degree change that is permanent.

I share five ways to get AND stay on track:

1.  Consider what might help you grow your energy, your motivation, and your inspiration.  Do you feel enthusiastic about what it is that you are trying to do?  Prime areas to examine include whether you might need more support; whether your goal is meaningful or exciting enough for you; or whether you might benefit from a partner or a strategy to stay accountable?If you’ve off track, think about what caused you to get there.  What lessons can you learn from getting off track?  Yes, there are lessons you can acknowledge that will benefit you and help you in the future stay on track and reach your success.  In getting back on track, what changes or adjustments do you need to make so this is less apt to happen again?  Use this as an opportunity to solidify your commitment to get right back on track and stay on that track.

2.  Do you require yourself to be perfect?  Is your definition of being “on track” too rigid or being perfect in your food choices and exercise program?  Requiring too much of yourself to be considered on track can be a set up to get off track.  Things happen in life that sometimes you make choices less than what you normally would.  Expand your definition of being on track in your food and exercise to take into consideration those times that you eat a choice you might not otherwise or have an indulgence.  Remember, it is progress not perfection.  We did not become overweight in one day or one meal or one food choice.  You will stay on track with your choices for the long haul.

3.  Look at the big picture.  When faced with an uncomfortable situation or emotion, step out of the immediate and look down the road.  Think of yourself fitting into your favorite pair of jeans, weighing a number on the scale, the feeling of confidence and happiness you’ll feel after you do not give in to the situation or emotion.  Remember that “this too shall pass” because the situation or emotion will pass.  What you’ll be left with is not wearing the results of emotional overeating.

4.  Get support.  Have a network of family, friends, work friends, online community or anyone that you can turn to that you trust to help you over the hump of wanting to make an unhealthy choice and stay on track.  A support person can remind you of your goals and refocus you on the benefits of staying on track.  A weight loss surgery coach can also be an invaluable support person too.  Another means of support can also be keeping a food and exercise journal.

5.  Get some distractions.  Instead of emotionally eating during a difficult time, uncomfortable emotion, or just to calm yourself, consider what could help you to increase your energy, motivation and inspiration.  Make a list of reasons why you want to get/stay on track that you can refer to that will get you pumped up again.  If you aren’t on track right now, what could you do to move you to get on track?  What could you do that would get you close to feeling like you are on track?  If it feels overwhelming to get back on track, take one simple action to promote the feeling of being on track.  Maybe, for you, it is cutting out one sugary food choice or drinking water rather than soda.  Get back on track in steps will help you get there without the feeling of doing too much and being overwhelmed.  When you have one day of being on track, you’ve already created the momentum of staying on track the next day and the next and the next, etc…..

To set a goal is great but staying with it day in and day out (and starting again as you need to) through the less exciting and more difficult times that come along in your life is the real key to success.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

I love to walk.  Even when I weighed 147 pounds more, walking was my exercise of choice.  It still is.  I prefer to walk outdoors but hot and humid weather along with ice storms and subdegree wind chills put me inside.  I have dvds of walking workouts, a treadmill of my own and a gym membership to keep me walking no matter what.

Some days though I need some reinforcements, reminders of what walking does for me.  It is a staggeringly long list.  I’ll share with you so it will keep you motivated and walking along with me!

When you’re in a tense or anger-inducing situation, taking a walk can calm your mind – because it calms your body.  Walking reduces stress in the body in several ways:

Helps to eliminate stress hormones (such as adrenaline) from your body.

It reduces tension in several large muscle groups – the glutes (buttocks), the quads (front of thighs) and hamstrings (back of thighs).

It increases the production of beta-endorphins, which are thought to calm the body and promote restful sleep.

Improved digestion.

Increased energy.

Increased mental focus.

Increased self-esteem.

Increased sense of control over your life.

Reduces chances of heart attack, and strengthens the heart.

Reduces possible osteoporosis.

Reduces chances of breast cancer.

Increased strength and stamina.

Reduction of stress.

Enhances quality of sleep.

Improves body shape.

Tones and firms muscles.

Provides more muscular definition.

Enables weight loss and maintenance.

Improves endurance.

Burns extra calories.

Improves circulation and helps reduce blood pressure.

Increases lean muscle tissue in the body.

Improves appetite for healthy foods.

Alleviates menstrual cramps.

Alters and improves muscle chemistry.

Increases metabolism.

Enhances coordination and balance.
Eases and possibly eliminates back problems and pain.

Makes the body use calories efficiently.

Lowers resting heart rate.

Improves body composition.

Increases body density.

Decreases fat tissue more easily.

Makes body more agile.

Is a great tune-up for your body.

Reduces joint discomfort.

Improves athletic performance.

Enriches sexuality.

May add a few years to life.

Increases your range of motion.

Enhances immune system.

Enables the body to utilize energy more efficiently.

Increase enzymes in the body that burn fat.

Enhances oxygen transport through the body.

Improves liver functioning.

Improves blood flow.

Helps to alleviate varicose veins.

Change your attitude toward exercising from “I have to exercise” to “I get to exercise.” With all these benefits, you have the best investment in your overall sense of well-being and health. Exercise is a gift that you give to yourself that keeps giving throughout your life.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you.  What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.  ~Mary Pickford

I saw this quote and felt compelled to write about it.  We’re just over the one month mark from New Year’s.  How are the goals you made just over a month ago coming?  Are you still on track?  If not, that’s okay.  It isn’t too late.  It is actually never too late to start again.  Just as this quote suggests, it isn’t the falling down or stumbling on some food choices that you wish you’d made differently.  It is staying down and continuing to make unhealthy food choices.  Think of when you or your kids started to walk – they fell down a lot!  They walk successfully today, right?  They walk (run!) today because they kept getting up.  Same is true for us as we continue on the path to our weight loss goals.

Whether it was a Super Bowl party, the second day after New Year’s or any other detour off your healthy eating track, you get right back up.  You might regret or feel guilt and shame from getting off track.  What if I told you that is part of the path?  It is.  If we were perfect, 100% on track all the time, we’d almost be setting ourselves up.

Try this……..take a deep breath and hold it……keep holding it for as long as you can and then let it out.  Did you blow it out with force and feel a sense of relief?  Probably so.  Same as with eating.  When you stay on a “diet” and become rigid in your food choices never allowing yourself a treat or to take a small detour, you are holding your breath in being perfect with your food choices.  Eventually, you’ll blow out that rigidity resulting in a series of possible binges and continual overeating.

The key is to find moderation, balance in your food choices.  The majority of the time, make healthy food choices and stick to them – say 85-90% of the time as you lose weight.  The 15 to 10% of the time, you can take a detour but for a limited period of time (a meal or a day, if necessary) and then get right back on track.  During your detour, promise yourself you won’t “go for it” and undo all of the healthy choices and weight loss you’ve achieved.  You can bend a bit in your food choices but not result in binging or out of control eating.  Stay in control but enjoy your temporary detour.

Just as a road doesn’t have bumps and turns along the way, neither does the road to weight loss.  It isn’t a straight shot with perfectly paved roads.  I’m not giving you permission or license to overeat regularly but occasionally.  If you take a detour, do it guilt free with the complete and total knowledge that with your next meal or next day, you will get right back on track.  That is moderation and balance, and the key to your weight loss success and maintenance.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

I’ve noticed that when you ask someone how they are doing that a common response is “busy.”  It seems that all of us have overburdened calendars and to do lists along with the day-to-day occurrences to manage too.

Millions of us use organizers, personal digital assistants, calendars, sticky notes, and date books to help us manage our busy lives.  Do you allow these organizers to rule your life or do you?  Do you allow space for yourself?  Often we micro-manage our lives and schedule our time so much that it comes at the price of our own happiness and time to ourselves and those we love.  Instead of scheduling another meeting, schedule one with yourself.  Whether it be to get in some activity or take yourself out for coffee or whatever brings you inner joy, schedule an appointment with yourself.

I had an example of this over the Thanksgiving weekend.  My husband and I were off work and the boys were out of school for four days for the Thanksgiving holiday.  It was wonderful.  No focus other than each other and enjoying being together.  It was wonderful.  Actually, I was down that it had to come to an end.  It reinforced what I already know and showed me the value of scheduling down-time for myself and to be with my family.  It was a very special time.  I am going to remember how it felt and how full I felt.  I’m going to create more of this time for myself personally and to be with my family too.

It is so easy to schedule our lives away.  To do lists can become the length of a novel.  Of course, meetings, appointments, items to do and take care of are important but equally so (or more so) are to be present and enjoy time with yourself and with your family.  When I reflect on my life, I’m not going to remember a certain meeting or appointment, or accomplishing an errand on my to do list.  My reflections will be on the time that I spent doing the things that fill me and spending time creating memories with my family.

A coffee table that needs to be dusted or an item on my to do list or other tasks can wait – the time and my priorities that are most precious to me can’t wait.

Make the most of today because it is truly the present to you.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

The language of text messages – the shorthand, shortcuts of texting….bff (best friends forever).  Kids are always using “bff” when texting other friends.  The question is:  Who is your bff?

What are the characteristics that your bff has?  My best friend is always there for me with an understanding heart and automatically knows when to provide love and care and a reality check.  She is kind, caring, compassionate, understanding, patient, always knows the right thing to say in a situation, provides a perspective that is just what I need, I can count on her, I enjoy her company and many others.  Make a list of the traits you love and cherish in your best friend.

You also have a best friend that you may or may not identify as your best friend….YOU!  Many people struggle with life challenges because they do not know how to be their own best friend.  We are so good at being there for others with encouraging words of support, love and care but do we extend these important aspects to ourselves?  Many times, we are often our own worst enemy.  We are over critical of ourselves and don’t hesitate to speak negatively to ourselves about ourselves.  We have unrealistic expectations of ourselves we would never place on someone else.  We have this huge massive database running in our heads of all the things we have been told that we can’t do or won’t be able to do or should never even try.  Have you ever listened to the things you tell yourself?  Would you want someone in your life that says the things to you that you say to yourself?  I seriously doubt it.  Why then would we allow us to do that to ourselves.

It is more than okay to tell yourself that you have done a good job or to celebrate the small successes you have achieved.  It is okay to give yourself nurturing messages of encouragement and love just as you would to your own best friend, child or another loved one in your life.  It is more than okay but a desired status to be your own best friend

Best friends support you in tough times rather than criticize you, they do not shame you for your mistakes but encourage you to learn from them and try again. Best friends accept you for who you are – warts and all and love you for just being you. Best friends ground you in reality help you walk through the emotions until you can see with greater clarity the issues before you. And no one can be your best friend better than you can.

When you start to criticize yourself for your mistakes become a best friend and learn to be a little bit gentler on yourself. When you begin to flounder or have doubts become your own best friend and speak to your spirit with encouraging words which inspire and motivate rather than pull apart and destroy. Ask yourself this “what would I want my best friend to say or do right at this moment?” then do that.

Simply, all you do is treat yourself as you would treat your best friend.  If you wouldn’t say something to your best friend, don’t say it to yourself.  If you would say or do something for your best friend, do it for yourself.  Yes, it may be awkward to think this way or even attempt.  Just as you get to know another person and build and grow your friendship, the same with you.  Be that person that you are for others.

So what are you waiting for? Become your own best friend, today! You’ll have the bff of all!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator