Monthly Archive for March, 2009

Pop Quiz – Describe You

Are you ready?  Pop Quiz!!!

Get out a pen and a piece of paper.  Ready?  I want you to write down 10 adjectives that you would use to describe yourself to me.  For purposes of this quiz, assume that we have never met, nor seen a picture of each other.  The 10 adjectives are to let me meet, see you, and know you for the first time.

If you want to cut/paste this post, go ahead.  Ready?  Start now!

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

You’re done.  Now, read those words back to yourself.  What do you think as you review them?  Do they describe you accurately?  Are they fair assessments to describe you?  Are they positive or negative?  Are they words that someone close to you would use to describe you?

What amazes me is that regardless of whether a person is seeking to lose 10 pounds or over 100, if they are focused only or predominantly on their body, the adjectives selected are most often negative and self-depreciating.

The reason for this is because we are so upset with our weight that we allow the ‘fat’ to cloud our vision and we fail to see all of the other wonderful qualities that we posses.  Our weight becomes our identity not only outside ourselves but inside too.  You are not your body.  Being overweight is not a personality defect or trait.  Your weight is not your identity or who you are as a person.  Truly, your weight says nothing about the true you.  When my clients take this quiz, one of the adjectives has something to do with weight and/or body size to describe themselves.

Losing weight and regaining our lives in a healthy way are very important.  In some ways, it is primary as we are creating healthy habits until they become second nature.  However, it is not your identity.  It doesn’t define who and what you are.  If you are overweight, that does not describe you as a person.  To allow our weight and body size to be all encompassing in our lives and the reason for your thoughts and day in, day out living, that isn’t true.

With her permission, I share this with you.  I had a client once send her list to me and it contained all 10 items as Obese, Obese, Obese, Obese, Obese, Obese, Obese, Obese, Obese, Obese.  I returned her e-mail and told her that was how she described her body but told me a big zero of who she is.

Do you see what a huge difference there is?  She finally did.  After a few weeks, she returned her list to me with the new words that described HER which were:  Sensitive, Thoughtful, Kind, Bright, Spiritual, Introspective, Loyal, Persistent, Ambitious, Insightful.  As I read those words, I knew that she is someone that I would want to know and have in my life.  Obese x 10 told me nothing.

The simple exercise of listing 10 adjectives about her as a person was a catalyst to her changing her life.  She no longer defined herself as obese but saw herself as a person with the qualities and characteristics, appreciated her values and saw herself in an entirely different way.  It was as though she was a stranger to herself until she wrote her own list.

Write your own list.  Describe who YOU are.  Feel free to send it to me and share it.  Feel free to post it on your refrigerator, on your bathroom mirror or place it in a place that you treasure and safe. If you are a stranger to yourself until the list, you will be meeting a very special person – YOU!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

Know Your Triggers

I went to Wal-Mart yesterday and there they were.  The cute Girl Scouts selling their cookies.  As expected, they sweetly asked me if I’d like to buy some Girl Scout cookies.  Before I knew it, I politely replied “NO.”  That is my self-love act that I did for myself yesterday.  Girl Scout cookies + me do not equal weight loss or weight maintenance.  I know this.

For me, there are some food choices that I can eat moderately and then walk away and it won’t trigger the urge to keep on going.  Girl Scout cookies are not one of food choices.  The television commercial for a brand of potato chips has a marketing slogan of “You can’t just eat one” and that applies to me for Girl Scout cookies.  I wish I could stop at a moderate amount but in the past that “one” isn’t one cookie but ONE BOX!

Before I had surgery, I looked forward to the Girl Scout cookie time of year.  I bought enough Girl Scout cookies to last an entire year only to be consumed within a very short time.  Knowing that they are a fantastic way to consume a few days worth of sugar and fat, I tried moderation.

In the spirit of moderation, I used some pretty creative ideas….nothing worked.  I froze them thinking that would limit my impulsive consumption of a sleeve or an entire box.  I found out that Girl Scout cookies are still delicious frozen!  I had my husband hide them only to find that I am excellent at hide and go seek.  He hid and I found.  I put them way up in a cabinet making it difficult to reach them.  Hey, what are bar stools for except to reach high places to get at Girl Scout cookies.  The clincher was the trunk.  I put them in the trunk of my car.  Thinking that out of sight, out of mind didn’t work either.  After having a bad day at work driving home, I actually stopped along the side of a very busy freeway only to open my trunk and eat those cookies!  Can you imagine, a highway patrol officer seeing me parked on the side of the freeway, pull behind me thinking I was having car problems only to tell the officer, no car problems, just an emergency to eat Girl Scout cookies!!!  Ugh.

After saying “no” as I entered the store, after you leave Wal-Mart, the Girl Scouts got you covered there too.  I was asked about my former food friend, those cookies, how many boxes I’d like to buy.  I politely yet instinctively said “no, thank you” and kept on walking.  What is a success for me is that I wasn’t even tempted.  I knew that was not a healthy choice for me as far as my weight but also what it would do to me.  I know some people can handle them but I know for sure they are triggers for me.  After saying that, I don’t know for sure because I haven’t tried them for a long time.  I strongly suspect they would be an issue.  Why put myself through that just to see?  Not only are they not healthy for me but not for my family either.

This was a big success for me.  I was not even tempted.  It was a no-brainer and I made the healthy, nurturing choice that was best for me.  Acknowledging your known food triggers isn’t a weakness at all but a true strength and a big step toward healthy your healthy weight goals.

Choose you!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

Your Gremlin

Did you know that you have a Gremlin?  You do!  All of us have Gremlins.  A Gremlin is the voice inside you that is the running voice that tells you that you are not enough, you can’t do this or that, you’ll fail and any other negative messages.

When you are aware of your Gremlin and its purpose, you can work with it than against it.  You can use visualization to create your Gremlin as something separate and apart from you.  We tend to believe those negative messages are who we are but they aren’t.  They are old messages you received sometime in your past but are not true and don’t apply to who you are today.  A Gremlin takes all those messages, puts them in one place that is not a part of you.

You can become very imaginative with your Gremlin.  The next time you hear a negative message, you can actually have a debate with your Gremlin.  When you hear your Gremlin telling you that you aren’t enough and you will fail, talk back to it!  Ask your Gremlin (either out loud or inside your mind as a dialogue) just as you would someone that was actually saying those things to you.  Rather than accept these negative messages as the truth, challenge that line of thinking.  When you challenge your Gremlin, you’ll see for yourself that those negative messages really don’t hold up as true.

Gremlins can be especially pesky in weight loss surgery patients or anyone trying to lose weight.  When you doubt your ability to lose weight, keep it off and make changes in your lifestyle.  The negative messages your Gremlin screams at you can be “You’ll fail at this because you can’t do it,” recognize that it is only your Gremlin.  When you recognize these types of messages as your Gremlin rather than the gospel truth, you create a line of separation between yourself and what is true and the negative Gremlin.  It will be easier to blow off this silly Gremlin and anything it says to you.

Negative self-talk is the language of your Gremlin.  You can also view the voice of head hunger as your Gremlin.  When you are tempted by an unhealthy food choice, using the concept of a Gremlin allows you to overcome that Gremlin voice.  You are more than your emotional eating, head hunger, or self-talk, you are much more powerful than your Gremlin.  Just as you would a child having a temper tantrum or being a brat, speak to your Gremlin effectively but put it in its place with the negative behaviors and messages.  By doing this, it will empower you to respond in a more realistic way with positive self-talk and behaviors.

Your Gremlin can be this small elf, gnome, or monster type looking thing.  Whatever you’d like to visualize works.  An example is a little green, ugly character that has warts all over it, arms that reach to the floor and has a raspy, low mean sounding voice.  Be creative.  Some people draw their Gremlin and others visualize theirs.  Some people also name their Gremlin and talk to it when the negative chatter and temptations start talking to you.

I know it may sound silly but give it a try.  When faced with head hunger the next time and you find yourself searching for something in the kitchen, STOP and talk to your Gremlin about what your weight loss goals are and that you don’t choose to indulge in emotional overeating.  I’ve had many clients and coaching students I’ve taught that are amazed how this works when they give it a sincere try.

Put your Gremlin in its place so you can move fast forward to your weight loss and life’s goals.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator, Bariatric University-Bariatric Coach/Instructor


What Do You Think About All Day?

Have you ever paid attention to what you think about throughout your day?  What occupies the thoughts that play through your head.  There is so much truth in the saying that “we become what we think about most of the time”. The human brain is a goal-seeking, problem-solving machine, and the things we think about, focus on, and worry about inevitably shape our destiny. We all know this, and yet most of us completely fail to seize the opportunity.  Many of our thoughts are negative so it is no wonder that we can feel down, frustrated, depressed or other negative emotions that reflection our negative thoughts.

Our world is filled with joy, wonders of nature, the love and affection of family and friends, rewards of doing what we live in our jobs and careers, endless opportunities for self-growth and personal development, yet so often our minds are consumed with scary news of the economy or the other concerns of our world or the anxieties of our daily life. Of course, the country economy and world concerns are real but to have those worries occupy the majority of our thoughts is unnecessary.  With all the joy and happiness that is yours for the asking, acknowledge that your life is too short for that!  Don’t miss out on opportunities to spend with your family, friends or create happy times.

I saw on the news recently that there is a wave of change in our country due to the economy.  I like that.  Rather than indulge in the excesses and going, going, going fast pace of life, we are slowing down.  We are enjoying simple times with those that matter and in solo activities that bring joy to us.  The reporter discussed this time in our country is an opportunity for growth, returning to the people and things that matter most to us.

As the stock market goes up/down similar to a roller coaster at Disneyland, our investments follow the same pattern as the roller coaster.  I’m going to give you an important investment tip – invest in yourself!  That is an investment that will pay huge dividends over and over throughout your life.  Invest in memories that you create with family and friends.  Invest in things that bring you joy.  Invest in the gift of silence as it allows you to listen to your thoughts and emotions without the loud busyness of the hustle and bustle of our lives.

What do you think about all day?  Do you beat up on yourself for needing/wanting to lose weight, get back on track or the other challenges of losing weight?  While creating healthy habits are important, they are not everything.  When you feel healthy and internally strong, the healthy habits are a positive by-product of your inner health.  Pay attention to what you think about.  When you hear that negative, critical voice, either tell yourself “STOP” or you could hold your hand up to yourself to signal “STOP” and purposefully turn it around.  Replace that negative internal chatter with the thoughts and self-talk that better represents you.  We are in charge of what we say, listen to and think about.  Every bit of it shapes our lives and predicts our future. We can surround ourselves with the best and, in turn, we will be the best we can be.

You are what you think, what you eat and what you surround yourself with.  Refuse to fill your life with garbage.  Life garbage can be in the form of toxic people that do not bring out the best in us or the bad habits and behaviors that we accept and have in our life.  Make your goal every day to be the best person with the most fulfilling day you can have.  That “best” will vary day to day.  Sometimes my best is off the charts and other times that same best is much less than it was on other days.  Both personal bests are just great.

Instead of life garbage, replace with life gifts.  Life gifts occur in your life with talking and sharing with the right people, associating with people the most represents you, your values and what you stand for.  Read for fun or personal development anything that interests you.  Attend seminars and workshops to learn something new or reinforce what you already know to get even better.  Laugh, dream, engage in your spiritual practice and be grateful for all the blessings in your life.

Set aside time in your day to spend with yourself.  Do something 30 minutes every day that makes you happy and brings you joy.  Do something or an activity a minimum of 30 minutes every day that you can reflect at the end of the day that makes you smile.  Remember the true rewards of an investment are the ones you make in yourself and your best life.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

Spend Your Time Wisely

We budget and plan our finances wisely.  We give thoughtful consideration to the income we make and the expenses we spend our money.  In this economy, even more planning and preparation to maximize the allowance of our finances is important.

When I coach clients, I hear how much time it takes to prepare and plan meals and how there is no time for exercise.  When I ask them how do they spend their time, I hear a list of countless tasks and responsibilities.  I’ll ask them if they have a financial budget and an awareness of how they spend their money and then don’t apply the same importance to their time.

All of us are given the same number of hours and minutes each day.  We have 24 hours each day or 1,440 minutes in a day.  Make a list of how you spend your 1,440 minutes.  Review what activities you are doing in your day.  Do you say that you don’t value television only to show on your list that you watch mindless television?

1% of 1,440 minutes each day equals 14 minutes.  This 14 minutes could be spent in planning how you will spend your day.  To plan your day translates to taking control of how you spend your time.  If you write down your plan for the day in advance, we will have so much greater clarify about the goals in how we go through our life and ultimately our life.  Everything you spend your time on should move you forward to reach your goals.  All you need to do is create the focus.

To create your focus, set up a time budget.  Similar to your household financial budget, your time deserves the same planning and awareness from you.  When it comes to making purchases, most people have an idea in their minds of what they are willing to spend.  You probably wouldn’t enter a store and make the statement that you will purchase a pair of jeans no matter how much it costs, right?  If you check the tag and the jeans cost $500, most of us would not buy them.  When it comes to making purchases, we have a budget in our minds as to how much we are willing to pay for an item and if the cost is worth it to them.

When it comes to spending your time, do you go through the same thought process as you do with your money?  Do you spend more time on certain tasks than they are really worth?  When it comes to cleaning hour home, do you spend an hour each day, two hours, three hours or more?  Is dusting and vacuuming worth that much of your time?  What about appointments or projects you are involved with?  How much is that time worth to you?  A pet peeve of mine is waiting on a doctor for an appointment.  My time is just as valuable as theirs.  I value my time as you should value yours.

In the 24 hours we’re given each day, we spend an average of 8 of those hours for sleeping.  That means that we have an average of 16 hours left to spend.  By setting a time budget for certain activities and people, you will always make certain your time is spent on what is most important to you, your family, your future and your life.

Write down your priorities and responsibilities to accomplish each day.  What do you value….spending time with family, friends, exercising, plan healthy meals?  Allot how much time you want to invest in your work (8 hours is a full-time day), exercising, meal planning, family time, time with friends, time for yourself.  Obviously you don’t have to budget each minute but have an idea of how you currently spend your time and the optimum way you want to spend your time that reflect your priorities.

Before taking on any commitments or additional responsibilities, ask yourself how much time you have available and what you are willing to invest.  If you feel it would be a time crunch and compromise the time you spend already – just say “NO.”  Just as say no to frivolous spending of your money, apply the same to your time as well.  Certainly value your finances and even more importantly value your time.

Time isn’t an unlimited currency.  It is your life.  Spend your time and your life wisely.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

If only….

If only, if only, if only…..ever hear yourself saying that.  If only I hadn’t regained weight.  If only I had reached my goal.  If only I stayed on track.  You “if only” your life away.  Many of us look and live in the past of missed opportunities and regrets.  It is impossible to change the past.  It doesn’t accomplish or benefit us to live in the past.  What we can do is reflect on the past, take what we can from it that will benefit us and our future.

What does living in the past truly get us?  It allows us to live in the past and thus not face or plan for the future.  It also allows us to blame others if we are stuck in the past unable to move into our future.  Fear of success can also play a part in staying stuck in the muck of the past.  How can we move forward it we can’t get past our past?  If we are living in the past we don’t have to make decisions or changes for our life today or the future.  Ask yourself why you are living in the past?  Take the lessons and benefits – apply them to your life today – put it in gear and move forward with the benefit of the past and not dwelling in it.

Living in the past also keeps you from feeling responsible for your life today.  If you can blame others for your life today, shortcomings, being in a rut, then they are the scapegoat and you don’t have to be responsible for your life, choices, goals and dreams.

Think about what lies ahead for you.  You may not see that anything is in your life today or your future.  It is.  It is yours for the taking.  The blame game occurs in the past but the main gain of your life is in today and your future.

Try to put a period on the past.  How’s this “This is my past.”  See the period after the word “past?”  Try saying “My life is today and my future.”  Has a much better sound to it, right?  Much more optimistic, full of hope, excitement and full of possibilities.

I saw this on a church marquis a few years ago and it has been huge in my personal growth and moving forward in my life.  It said “Consider that you have been given two lives – the one you were born into and the one that you create for yourself.”  I love that.  The life I was given was my childhood and upbringing.  It was developed by my family of origin and not one that I take responsibility for in how I was brought up and raised.  However, once on my own, this is my life.  I am responsible for my choices, what I do, how I’ve grown personally and what I’ve done with my life.

Many of us look backwards too often.  We drive a car (that represents our life) looking in the rearview mirror.  The past is the past.  Learn what you can from the past and look ahead in the windshield, again representing your life, and put it in drive and move forward.  Move forward to the destination which are your goals and dreams.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

Lesson From The Other Side of Overeating

As I’ve written before, I believe that moderation is part of being on track.  What that means to me is that occasionally we’ll have a day that isn’t completely indulgent but you will eat either more or eat choices that you normally wouldn’t do.  Yesterday, I stayed on track with my choices but I ate more than I normally do.

I’m not making a big deal about it today.  I didn’t weigh myself nor plan to until my normal weigh-in.  I’m not hanging up over it or stressing about it….no shame or guilt involved.  The most important day is today.  The day after.  It is easy to stay off track for just another day that somehow, sometimes can go on for days, weeks or months at a time.  What determines getting  back on track is the day after when you return to your normal food choices and eating.  However, I always look back and reflect on what I learned about a situation and especially a different food day than my norm.

What was going on?  Nothing in particular.  I was hungry.  I was hungrier than I normally was.  I checked in with myself to see if it was head hunger or true hunger.  It is a funny thing about head hunger and true, physical hunger.  They can seem like the same thing but they aren’t.  Head hunger can masquerade as physical hunger unless you pay attention, really check in with your body and see what you are hungry for.  Usually if you are hungry for a specific food – usually carbs, sugar or fatty food choices, it is head hunger.  If a healthy choice would satisfy you, then it is probably physical hunger.  Other questions I also ask are how long has it been since I ate last and what did I eat.  If it was a protein drink or something that doesn’t have a high satiety level (cottage cheese versus a piece of lean protein), then it leads me to believe that it is physical hunger.

My lesson from yesterday’s eating were a couple of things.  First, I utilized the checking in process for myself to differentiate if I was physically hungry or was in that pesky masquerading head hunger.  I reflected back over the past couple of days and I had eaten lighter than normal.  I was craving healthy food choices – just more in quantity because I was probably hungrier due to the couple of earlier days that I’d eaten lighter.  I listened to my body.  It was truly hungry.  I had the physical sensations of hunger.  I also checked in with my emotions.  Was anything going on?  Was I bored?  Was I procrastinating about something?  Was I upset or experiencing any uncomfortable emotions?  All the answers came up negative so I knew chances are that it wasn’t emotional eating or head hunger.

All of this may sound like a hassle.  It isn’t.  As you do it enough, you become a Sherlock Holmes of your eating and hunger.  It becomes second-nature.  When you don’t give into the head hunger, you become stronger in your food choices and staying on track.  When you eat and it physically satisfies you rather than emotionally satisfies you, you realize the difference when you do it often enough.  When you are able to make the difference, you naturally will not want to give in to the head hunger any longer.

Eating for head hunger leaves you wanting more and more, never filling you up because it is emotionally-driven and not responding to physical cues from your body.  Head hunger is the equivalent of filling the gas tank in your car and keep filling it past the gas tank where it runs down your car onto the cement.  With the gas tank overfull, you are wasting money.  With overfilling your pouch or stomach, you are wasting calories and compromising your health, emotional and mental well-being by gaining weight.

The next time you slip off your food plan and indulge, use the episode and learn from it.  Ask yourself what lessons you can take from it.  Pay attention to how you felt afterwards.  Focus on what caused you to do it, look underneath the surface of the behavior.  Become the Sherlock Holmes of your own body and life.  When did you really need to feel better or nurtured rather than eating.  What was going on right before it happened?  Was it head hunger or physical hunger?  Now, use that awareness and knowledge to change the future.  If your tendency is to eat out of head hunger, think of reaching out for healthy food choices or self-nurturing things you can do.  Maybe you were tired – take a nap.  Did you need to get out of the environment where you eat – take a walk.  Did you need to talk out emotions or a problematic situation – talk to a trusted family member or friend.  Give yourself what you really need when head hunger strikes; give yourself what you really need when physical hunger hits and, most importantly, know the difference between the two.

Once you identify the difference between physical hunger and head/heart hunger, you will naturally lose weight and maintain your weight loss.  Every eating episode has a lesson in it for you.  Learn the lesson and you’ll graduate from the continual weight loss struggle.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

How To Say “NO”

Do you have a difficult time saying “no” to someone?  Some people make it very difficult to say “no” to.  After you say “yes” when you want to say “no,” how do you feel about yourself?  How do you feel in general?  For most of us, we don’t feel great about yourselves or the situation.

Many of us feel that saying “no” is uncaring and selfish.  Even if we don’t have the time to fulfill the request, we find ourselves agreeing to take yet another thing on or just plain don’t want to do it rather than say “no.”  Learning to say “no” is a very important skill to learn and use for yourself.  Please remember it is NOT a bad thing to do.  Actually, it is a very caring, loving thing to do for yourself and others.

So, how do we say “no” and still food good about ourselves?  Here are some “how to” tips:

1. It is important to remember that saying no is a choice, not a requirement. In any situation, you have the choice to either say “yes” or say “no.”  Because saying no is as much of a choice as saying yes, that means they are both good and acceptable answers.

2. You think of yourself as a person of integrity and honesty. You take pride in being known as a person who gets things done when they make a commitment and won’t let anyone down. You can’t say no.  Oh, absolutely, yes you can. To be a person of integrity and honesty means saying no sometimes. Saying no simply means that you want to stay true to the commitments you have made.  We can’t nor should do it all.  We shortchange ourselves and the task we’ve accepted.

3. Remember and keep your priorities in forefront in your mind. Priorities are the highest things we have in our life.  Priorities play a large role in the decisions we make and whether to say yes or no to a request. Saying no to the things that are not on your priority list is acceptable.

4. Empower yourself!  Empowerment is the process of increasing the capacity of an individual to make choices and to transform those choices into desired actions and outcomes.

5. To free yourself from the guilt associated with turning down a friend or family member, keep in mind that by saying no you are voicing your opinion, standing up for rights and becoming the boss of your life. Affirm this fact every morning. It’s better than asking yourself how you got into so much by saying yes all the time.  No one can make you feel bad without your consent.  You owe it to yourself to say no when you want.

6. Saying no is not a sign of weakness. It is actually a sign of strength. It indicates that you know your own strengths, abilities and limitations. If you don’t want to say no, then learn to say ‘not right now’ instead.

7. Compare how you feel when you say yes to something and want to do it to when you say yes to something and really wanted to say no. When you do something because you really want to, you will have positive feelings and outlook on fulfilling your promise. If you said yes and wanted to say no, your feelings are going to be different. Perhaps these emotions come to mind: frustration, anger, resentment, and stress. Do you want to feel positive or negative? Go with your gut.

8. Being assertive by saying no is not a negative trait and is not a form of confrontation or disrespect, as some people may think. It shows that you have self-respect and self-esteem and that you know you are not responsible for everybody and everything.

9. You should never feel bad about saying no to being asked to do something which conflicts with your values or morals.

10. When you need to say no to a request, it’s fine to give an explanation. Perhaps you don’t feel you have the skills, time or resources to complete the request. And saying no because I need time for myself is perfectly fine too. Feel good knowing that you were honest and up front with the other person.  Additionally, you don’t owe anyone an explanation.  No means no.  You don’t need to expand.  With a great deal of explanation, some people will use this information as opportunity to show you how, in fact, you can and should say yes.

11. Minimize the stress involved with saying no by smoothing out the transition by using these three easy steps: (1) acknowledge the request (‘Thank you for thinking of me.’); (2) convey your circumstances (‘After reviewing my calendar, I don’t have the time’); (3) minimize the saying of no (‘Maybe next time’ or ‘Have you considered?’).

12. Saying no can allow you to try new things. Just because you have always helped plan the company picnic does not mean that you have to keep doing it forever. Saying no can free up time for you to pursue other hobbies and interests.

13. Remember that yes is not always going to be the best answer. If you are already over committed, you have a much better chance of getting sick, tired and irritable, which won’t benefit anyone else either.

14. Just because you say no doesn’t mean someone won’t like you.  If that is the case, then the person isn’t someone that is healthy in your life anyway.

Many times, saying no to someone or a request is saying YES to YOU!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

You Can GROW

How are you coming along with your resolutions that you made?  If you’ve set goals rather than resolutions, how are they going?  If you need to refocus your goals or resolutions, try to GROW.

G = GOALS.  Create a goal that you desire and want to achieve success.  Write it down in a place that you can see it regularly, update and revise as you want, and write action steps along the way that will take you to achieve and reach your goal.

Let’s use as an example that you want to lose 50 pounds.  “My goal is to lose 50 pounds by August 1.”  Your action steps list would include eating more protein, drink 64 ounces of water, lower my carbs for the day and make healthy food choices.  Another action step could be to take a walk 3-4 days per week for two months and then increase to 4-5 days per week.  Break down your goal to lose 50 pounds into steps on a ladder to reach your success.

R = REALITY.  Where are you now?  Mark down your current weight and keep track monthly (or weekly) as you lose weight.  Also, be realistic.  Is losing 50 pounds by August 1 realistic?  If you lose 7-8 pounds per month or 2 pounds per week, I can lose 50 pounds by August 1.  After thoughtful consideration, you decide that yes you can accept your reality and be realistic in keeping your goal.

O = OPPORTUNITIES AND OPTIONS.  What opportunities and options do you have to help you to reach your goal?  Opportunities may include taking a walk during your lunch break, cleaning out your kitchen from unhealthy food choices to healthy food options.  Look for opportunities to enhance your efforts to reach your goal and search for options to help you get there to lose 50 pounds.

W = WILL.  What’s your will?  How badly do you want to lose the 50 pounds?  What are you willing to do to reach your goal?  On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being as motivated as you can be to lose the weight and do whatever it takes to be successful, where are you?  If you are less than a 10, what would it take to reach a 10 of your will to achieve your goal?  Talk is talk but consistent and persistent action is what it will take to accomplish your 50 pounds weight loss.  Rate your will to do reach your goal.

When you GROW, you create a plan to reach your goal.  GROW is easy to remember and a good way to perform periodic checks as to how you’re doing with your action steps to obtain success with your goal.

When you follow GROW, you truly grow.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

Who Are Your Enemies?

Do you have enemies?  If so, who are they?  Make a list.  Hopefully that list isn’t long!!  The reason I ask this question is to really see if you are among your enemies.  Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.

Have you ever listened to the things you say to yourself?  We can be the most critical and negative to ourselves of anyone we know. Would you allow a child, a grandchild, a friend, family member, co-worker or boss talk to you the way you talk to yourself?  Probably not.  That is the language of ourselves being our own worst enemy.

Negative self-talk is a deeply engrained habit.  It is something that once you are aware of, you can change.  Challenge something you say about yourself.  Get it outside of you and question it.  If you tell yourself you can’t do something, check for the evidence as to the proof of that statement.  If you say something negative about yourself, check for the substantiation as to the truth of it.  I would bet that if you challenge those negative statements and self-talk that you’ll be able to change that habit.  Awareness if the first step.  Challenge it and the desire to change the habit are what it takes to go from a negative enemy to a positive friend.  We are the creators of our own habits.

Another way we are our own worst enemies are in our food choices or exercise.  If we “cheat” with our food choices or exercise, just as in a test in school as we tell our kids, the other person we really cheat is ourselves.  You cheat yourself our of your success and the pride you have in yourself.

Reflect on the ways that you are your own worst enemy.  Then consider how you can change those habits into ones that show you that you value yourself, positive self-loving and nurturing habits.  If that is difficult, treat yourself as you would a child, a special friend, a loved family member, and even your pet.

We can be our own best friend by battling and overcoming the enemy we allow within.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator