Lose Weight Find Life

The times that I’m most pulled to food are varied.  When a situation occurs, emotions arise.  Are you in touch with those emotions?  What I’ve found with myself and many of my clients is we don’t give ourselves a moment of pause.  Are you like a long distance jumper and go from the situation immediately to emotional eating?  Do you jump over the emotions and directly eat?  The situation occurs, emotions arise but rather than deal with the emotions, or even identify them, we eat.  We go from the situation to eating in the matter of seconds.

How do we give ourselves that moment of pause?  First of all, become aware of how instantaneous you go from emotions to eating.  Create the habit of checking in with yourself before you emotionally eat.  Make a list of distractions and stick to it.  For example, promise yourself that rather than eat, you’ll give yourself an opportunity to do something else.  Your “something else” list of distractions could include calling a friend, writing an e-mail, changing your environment from where you are to another room or even outside, do jumping jacks, get involved in a hand crafting hobby to keep your hands busy, play a computer or video game…..anything to take your mind off the situation and emotional eating.

Try this before the fast moving train of emotional eating overtakes you….Stop-Look-Listen.  STOP and check in with yourself.  What is going on?  What are your emotions?  LOOK at what those emotions are and how you can deal with them.  LISTEN to yourself about those emotions and the situation so you can process without numbing with food.  When a train is approaching, the long arm goes down to stop the traffic while the train passes.  Think of emotional situations the same way.  When a situation has occurred and you’re feeling the emotions, put an “arm” down by giving yourself that pause while the train (emotions) pass.  Rather than emotionally eat, I would guess that you’ll be able to cross safely when the emotional freight train goes by.

Coaching can help you develop strategies to Stop-Look-Listen to yourself rather than self-medicate with food.  The next time you have a situation and you find yourself wanting to eat, try to Stop-Look-Listen.  It sounds simple but can be difficult.  Keep trying and practice, be patient with yourself.  You’re worth it!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

Last weekend, we went to see a special show as a family.  It was so fantastic.  We had a great time.  When I think of the times that I’ve been happy, truly happy and fulfilled, food was not an issue.  I didn’t give the scent of freshly baked cookies a second thought.  Why?  I was with my family.  I was having a great time. I was entertained and present by watching the show.  My cup was full with the experience of spending fun, quality time with my family and having fun in what we were doing.

This experience has given me lots to think about.  I can’t duplicate that experience every day.  What I can do is make sure that my cup (my life) is full.  Full with family, friends and those bonds, make sure that I do something daily that is enjoyable to me such as sit on my back porch and enjoy the nature in our backyard or other such types of things special to me.

Today, I will fill my cup of life.  How will you fill yours?

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

For many of us with weight challenges and emotional eating tendencies, when the thought hits to eat something, there’s very little that stops us.  We go for it.

What about if you could pause?  Give yourself just a moment of pause.  Before you emotionally eat, ask yourself the question of “Will eating this (insert food here) make it better?”  Also, what are your goals?  Is your goal to wear a certain size, weigh a particular number on the scale or even wear a special outfit?  If so, you could ask yourself if eating the unhealthy food choice will get you closer to reaching your goal that is so important to you.

While figuring out your food that works best for you and your body after weight loss surgery is important, in my strong opinion, the real success from weight loss surgery occurs after your surgery and when you know what dietary food choices work for you.

We didn’t need weight loss surgery because we were physically hungry.  We ignored and turned off the physical cues and responded to the emotional emptiness and uncomfortable emotions we felt by turning to food.  Food is a fix all – it doesn’t talk back, it doesn’t let us down, it is always there and available to numb and take the edge off of life.  Once we’ve had surgery, we focus on our bodies and the physical components of losing weight.  We may even have plastic surgery.  Then what?  Many post-ops think they are finished.  Done.

Just because our physical body has changed, the inside hasn’t.  The issues and reasons we turn to emotional eating are still there.  They may be put aside from the high and excitement of losing weight but they are still there.  Losing weight doesn’t erase the history of why we became morbidly obese.  The surgery isn’t brain surgery.  The emotional reasons we turn to food are still there.  After we focus on our bodies and losing weight, you aren’t finished.  Avoid weight regain by dealing with the insides.  Why do you have food triggers?  Why do you turn to food or want to use food to cope with emotions and situations?  These are the reasons that eventually will cause weight regain or white knuckling it which is a miserable way to live your life.

When you deal with the issues that causes us to crave food to help us cope, you change your insides and develop strategies so you don’t have to have the strong drive to food.  You are in the driver’s seat of your life, you are in charge rather than food in charge of you.  When you deal with the inside, the outside (your body and weight loss) will take care of itself without the weight regain and food issues resurfacing and in your face.  I know for me, when I regained my weight after years of easily maintaining my weight, it was due to a transition that came up in my life.  I worked with my own coach to deal with my issues so that food wasn’t that source of comfort that we turn to when times are difficult.

When you eat over emotions, the situation or emotions are still there.  Does eating make it better?  Emotional eating truly does not make anything better.  On top of what you ate over, you now feel guilty, shame and other negative emotions.  Emotional eating only complicates the emotions causing you to feel worse.

So, the next time you find yourself wanting to emotionally eat, ask yourself “Will eating make it better?”  Weight loss success is being able to answer a resounding NO!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Back On Track Facilitator

When I reflect back on my life pre-op and sometimes post-op, I have wasted so much time, money, and most importantly, energy on emotional eating.  Worrying about my weight, what I look like, what I can hide behind jackets or sweaters, what I was going to wear that would hopefully fit.  What a waste of time and energy.  Food, eating, weight and my body size consumed my thoughts and energies.  Planning what I was going to eat, avoiding eating certain food items, worrying about my weight and body size, etc.  No way to live life.  Food controlled me rather than I controlled my life and what I ate.

I would stop on my way home from work and pick up snacks (also known as junk) to eat on the way home.  It is illegal to drive while drunk.  I was so mesmerized by eating my stash of junk that I was probably as dangerous as a drunk driver.  It takes a lot of time, skill and practice to maneuver the freeways at 5:00 rush hour while opening a ketchup packet and dipping my fries while driving with my knee.  Yikes!  That extra diversion to the convenience store or fast food drive-thru took up time that I could have been home preparing a meal to enjoy with my family.

Food has no power.  It is food.  We are the ones that give it power.  My weight and food wasn’t the problem, it was my emotional eating to control my emotions and cope with troublesome situations in my life. We use food to manage our emotions.  We use food to self-soothe. People who have struggled with it, and the professionals who treat it, call it by many different names; compulsive overeating, emotional eating, and food addiction. No matter what it’s called, people USE food because food works!  Problem is with other substances we abuse, it only works for a short period of time.  Then the behavior we used it for that temporarily helped becomes the problem itself.

In my opinion, it isn’t about the food.  It is about us.  Weight loss surgery success isn’t found in the perfect protein drink.  It is about learning to manage our emotions and cope with situations and our life without turning to food.  Live life on your own terms with your own strategies and life coping skills without leaning on food.  We turn our personal power over to food.

Rather than spending time searching for the perfect protein power, protein bar, recipe, search for a good mental health professional therapist or coach that can help you live your life free of the bonds of emotional eating.  It is not only possible for you but what you deserve for yourself.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach

Pre-operatively, and sometimes post-op (!), I ate for pleasure.  Pleasure of filling time from boredom, squelching emotions or uncomfortable situations was managed by emotionally eating.  My surgery and weight loss woke me up.  The time, energy wasted and extra calories that I thought was pleasure actually was pain.  I ate to get pleasure to soften the pain of living.

Until my weight loss, I interpreted my destructive behavior as pleasure.  The pleasure from emotional eating is an illusion.  That “pleasure” was hurting me and making my problems much worse. 

True pleasure comes from being healthy, losing excess weight and maintaining it, making positive lifestyle changes, and being fully present in our lives without the numbing of our life from food.  These true pleasures are far more fulfilling and satisfying than the pain I was causing myself.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, Certified Life Coach
Weight Loss Surgery Coach

Heading for the kitchen when you’re feeling angry, lonely, bored, or tired may be the reason you’re gaining weight or at a plateau.  Emotional eaters lose less weight and are more likely to gain it back than those that are situational eaters.  If you’re an emotional eater, create strategies to combat emotional eating to manage your feelings.

When you’re feeling angry, try a cardio workout, take a brisk walk, or kickboxing.  These “get up and go” exercises release endorphins that can boost your mood.

When you’re feeling lonely, reach out and call a friend to chat or send e-mails to friends and family.  People not food provide a fix for feeling lonely.

When you’re feeling tired, lay down and either take a nap or even close your eyes to rest.  Taking a nap and resting is much healthier and rejuvenating than emotionally eating. 

When you’re feeling bored, do something with your hands such as scrapbooking, needlework crafts, give yourself a manicure, or read a book.  Get busy doing something you enjoy to keep you mind on rather than in the kitchen.

Every emotion has a healthy remedy rather than emotionally eating.  Emotion management success is found in developing strategies personal to you.  One of the areas I work on with my weight loss clients is emotion management.  Create a checklist of things to do instead of eating.  It works!! 

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy

Have you ever found yourself standing at the refrigerator or kitchen cabinets searching?  You aren’t hungry yet frantically searching for something?  What is that something?  What are you searching for?   What you are searching for isn’t contained in the kitchen.  Rather than look inside your kitchen, look inside of yourself.

Many times when we find ourselves searching for just the right thing to eat to satisfy that longing, we are looking for something to fill ourselves.  Food won’t satisfy that longing but we can.  Check in with yourself to see what you need.  Are you bored?  Are you angry?  Are you sad?  Do you feel anxious and don’t know why?  Are you frustrated and feel helpless as to what to do?  Food can be the one size fits all fix for feelings, emotions, and situations we feel out of our control.

The next time you are searching for something to eat to fill that longing you feel, ask yourself “What do I need right now?”  Your first thought might be a response that involves food.  Keep asking yourself what you need until you find the answer that will truly fulfill that need.  The real answer you are looking for doesn’t involve food.  The real answer lies inside of you and not inside your kitchen. 

All the best,
Cathy

I’m sick today.  I have a cold, sore throat, headache, you name it.  I don’t like being sick.  No one does.   Being drained of energy, tired, and just generally lethargic makes me feel vulnerable.  I don’t know what it is about getting a cold but it makes me want to eat.  It may be that I’m wanting to feel better and comforted so I turn to my favorite comfort foods rather than the appropriate cold relief medication.  I know the things that I need are hot tea, water, and plenty of rest.  This is the time to practice self-nurturing habits rather than self-destructive habits of eating emotionally for comfort. 

I’m off to take a shower, drink some hot tea, and take a nap.  I’m listening to what my body needs rather than what my head hunger wants.  That’s truly the best of health I can give to myself.

All the best,
Cathy

What is emotional eating?  Emotional eating is when we eat in response to situations and feelings other than physical hunger cues from our body.  It is as though we are feeding our head hunger than our physical hunger.  Physical hunger is feeding our body; head hunger is feeding a void in ourselves that we want to fill.  Emotional eating is a way to suppress, quiet our inner voice of emotional discomfort or pain, or calm emotions such as worry, boredom, sadness, anger, or stress.  Emotional eating serves as a quick fix that also wears off very quickly.  The key is to discover the source of why you want to emotionally eat and address it.  When you eat to feed a feeling, whether consciously or unconsciously, emotional eating is triggered.  Use the urge to emotionally eat as a window into your head and your heart.  So, adopt the practice of STOP-LOOK-LISTEN.

STOP = When you first get the urge to emotionally eat, give yourself a moment of pause and STOP.  Don’t go to the kitchen, don’t reach for food yet.  Give yourself an opportunity to get control over the urge.

LOOK = LOOK at the situation; LOOK inside yourself as to what is driving your desire to emotionally eat.  Are you physically hunger?  Check in with your body to see if you are truly hungry?  Not head hunger but physical hunger.  They can be tough to distinguish but there is a big difference.  Head hunger can seem like physical hunger so be a detective and discover the difference for yourself.  How long has it been since you ate?  Is it too soon for your body to be hungry or is it, in fact, possibly time for a meal or planned snack?  If it is not physical hunger, LOOK at the reason you may be wanting to emotionally eat and LOOK at what you are trying to fill.

LISTEN = What is it you need?  What is causing your head and heart to want to be filled?  Is it a feeling, an emotion, a situation, a person, or a sense of being generally uncomfortable?  LISTEN to what you need.  Do you need to take care of a situation in order to feel resolved with it?  Do you need to deal with a person by talking or interacting with them to resolve your concern with them?  What are you feeling or what is the emotion?  Try to identify the specific feeling(s) or emotion(s).  Many times if you can LISTEN and identify the need you are wanting to emotionally eat over, you can make the urge lessen and go away completely. 

Think how you’ll feel when you are Sherlock Holmes and solve the mystery for your emotional eating!  You can take the mystery out of emotional eating by doing some detective work for yourself.  With each success and not succumbing to the drive to emotionally eat, you gain more confidence and inner strength to overcome any eating or life challenge you encounter.  Now THAT is better than anything you can ever eat!   

All the best,
Cathy