Archive for the 'Self-Comforting & Self-Nurturing' Category

Listen…Really Listen

Is there someone in your life that needs you to listen….really listen to them?

Listening is different than hearing.  Hearing is waiting for the other person to finish talking so you can say what you want to say.  Try listening to someone in your life.  Listen to what they are saying and what they aren’t saying, what are the feelings and emotions they seem to be experiencing.  Ask yourself if you listened beyond the superficialities?  Ask yourself if you paid attention to the words, tone of voice, and body language clues?  Were you truly present with this person?

Before becoming a coach, I realized that I half-way listened.  We are all good at multi-tasking including listening.  For example, when I was on my computer and my kids wanted to tell me something, I’d “listen” to them plus divide my attention with what I was doing on the computer.  What message was I unknowingly sending to them?  When it comes to listening to my family and friends, my clients, and members, I no longer multi-task.  I listen without distractions and give them my complete attention.  My relationships and communications have improved substantially.

You can practice this on your own.  Wherever you are, listen.  Listen to the immediate sounds and also if you deeply listen, you’ll hear other sounds that you wouldn’t have without true listening.  Go outside, you can shut your eyes or not, and listen.  You may hear the birds chirping, off in the background a crow or one of your neighbors mowing the lawn, or kids playing in the faint background.  When you deeply listen, it is amazing.  This is also great to do when the cravings and urge hits to stress eat.  It takes you out of the immediate environment creating the urge and focuses your attention elsewhere.  It is a great tool.  Try it!

Once you’ve gotten into the habit of listening better, check on the impact it has on your relationships in your life.  One of the gifts of coaching that I learned is to truly listen deeply.  It is truly rewarding as a parent, wife, friend, coach, and employee.  It takes your relationships to a deep, meaningful level.  You will feel closer to those special people in your life.  After all, we all want to be listened to.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, Certified Life Coach
Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

How’s Your Day?

Sometimes do you wake up and feel “off” or in a funk?  Do you label the entire day thinking that it is going to be one of THOSE days?  Last week, I did.  Then, I caught myself.  Whether I have a great day or one of THOSE days is up to me.  The type of day you’ll have doesn’t depend on someone else.  It is entirely up to you.

You have the power and control to determine your day.  Okay, yes, sometimes it is more difficult than others.  You are stronger than any external circumstances that can happen to you.  You are the boss of your life.  No other person, emotion or situation is more important or holds control over you.  Plus, emotions and situations pass.  What is important and empowering is what you do with them.  Do you turn to food to cope and take the edge off?  Do you sit with the uncomfortable feelings and situation and allow them to pass without the self-medication of emotional eating?

Today, make the decision to make it a day of loving yourself and those you care about.  Start off by doing something for yourself.  Enjoy a cup of coffee in your favorite chair, swing in your porch swing (my personal favorite), read a book, give yourself a great big hug or anything that is special to you.

Next, show someone in your life how much you love them.  You can tell anyone how much you love or treasure them.  Create an opportunity to tell the people in your life you love them, you’re thinking about them, and they are important to you.

I’m having a great day!  What about you?

Believe in Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Back on Track Facilitator

Grateful Post – What Makes You Happy Today?

To lead a healthy happy life, focus on the positive things in your life.  Many times we fix our attention on what we don’t like in our lives, what isn’t working, what we don’t have but want or what we don’t like that we take for granted what’s making us happy.

Do you focus on how many pounds you have to lose or have regained and want to lose OR are you grateful for the pounds that you have lost?  If you’re like many weight loss surgery patients that aren’t at their goal or have regained weight, you focus on what you haven’t lost than what you have.

How many pounds have you lost?  50, 75, 100 or more?  That is a huge amount of weight.  Go to you local warehouse supply store such as Costco or Sam’s Club where things are sold in bulk.  Go to a pet store and pick up a 50 pound bag of food.  Go to a nursery and pick up a big bag of potting dirt.  Don’t just pick it up but carry it around for awhile.  I guarantee you that just by carrying around these massive large bags that you will tire soon.  Multiply those bags to equal the amount of weight that you have lost.  That’s a lot, huh?  Don’t you feel a huge physical relief when you put those bags down?  That is lots of weight that you no longer carry around with you 24/7.  Don’t focus on what you haven’t lost but what you have.  Be grateful for that weight loss.  Celebrate your weight loss.  If you do that will make you happy today.

Make a list of three people, situations or things in your life that give you happiness.  Take a few minutes at the beginning of your day, end of the day or any time that is quiet that you can devote to yourself.

Think about what gives you happiness and write about it.  Here are some ideas to get you started:

*People in your life that you love such as your spouse or partner, family, or friends.
*Your pets.
*Walking or sitting in nature.
*Sitting on your back porch swing and enjoying flowers you’ve planted and birds at your feeder.
*A great book.
*When a child in your life gives you a hug, kiss and tells you “I love you.”
*A sunny day with cool temperatures.
*Your surgery.
*Every single pound that you’ve lost and no longer carry around.
*The changes you’ve made in your life since losing weight.
*Good times with your family and friends.
*Relieve happy memories.
*Planting flowers in a pot.
*Laughing at a good movie.
*Eating a crisp, sweet apple.
*Enjoying coffee and chatting with a friend.
*Songs loaded on your MP3 player or iPod.

Go through your day saying “thank you” to the things that work in your life and bring you happiness.  Focus on what you DO have in your life and not what you don’t.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, Certified Life Coach
Weight Loss Surgery Coach

Turn Your Shower Into A Spa

Give yourself a treat and enhance your shower by turning it into a spa.  To create a spa-like experience while taking your shower, put the stopper in to let water accumulate in the tub.  Add 1 or 2 drops of essential eucalyptus oil to the water.  The steam and aroma will be invigorating.

Alternatively, you can use your favorite aroma (lavender for calming) essential oil.  This is an inexpensive yet very nurturing way to give to yourself.  Enjoy!!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, Certified Life Coach
Weight Loss Surgery Coach

Just Because

We give presents at birthdays and other holidays, but what about a “just because” gift.  Wrap it up, complete with a pretty bow.  SURPRISE!!  This is great to do for your partner, children, family, friends, neighbors and co-workers. 

What about you?  Have you ever given yourself a gift?  Buy yourself something you’ve wanted, wrap it up, complete with a beautiful bow.  A gift from you to you!  How perfect!

Surprise someone you care about with a gift to show them how special they are to you.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach

MIA

As my clients and friends know, I post almost daily to my blog.  However, as you can tell, I haven’t lately.  I’m committed to providing education, support, and motivation through my blog so it would take something major to occur for me to be MIA-missing in action.

A week ago, I pinched a nerve in my upper back and neck.  The pain has been awful.  It has gone down into my arm so even small movements are a reminder that I’m not 100%. 

This experience has been an additional reminder or wake-up call that we cannot take our health and well-being for granted.  I’ve known that but to go through the chronic pain of a physical issue, impacts us not only physically but mentally and emotionally too. 

Thank you to my clients and friends for understanding my MIA status on my blog.  I wanted to share my experience with you so you can benefit from my wake-up call to value and treasure our health.  It is easy to take for granted.  Our health and well-being are priceless and should be treasured and honored daily. 

For today, make a choice that enhances your health and well-being.  I know I will!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach

Have A Good Day

Have a good day, your own way!!

Tell a joke.
Say a prayer.
Take your own time out.
Take good care of you.
Draw a soaking bubble bath.
Light a candle.
Know there is nothing you can’t handle.
Close your eyes and listen to your breath.
Dream a dream.
Cry a little.
Laugh a lot.
Hold your own hand.
Tell your feelings they are okay.
Let your soul come out and play.
You are you.
You are free.
Be who only YOU can be.
Be the best YOU can be.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy

The Frog and Take Time For Yourself

Areas of our lives can deteriorate so slowly that we don’t notice problems until they are at boiling proportions.  Unhealthy relationships often start slowly and rise to a point where we accept the unacceptable. 

Money problems often begin with small debts that grow into choking obligations.  We can stop and deal with difficulties when we take the time to notice them early on.

Do you know about the story with the frog and boiling water?  It makes my point perfectly.  If you put a frog into a shallow pan of cool water, the frog is like to be quite happy and enjoy it by sitting in it for awhile.  If you take the frog out and heat the water to boil, and then put the frog back in, the frog will jump out immediately.  If you put cool water in a pan, put the frog in, and then slowly heat the water to boiling, the frog’s nervous system will not register the changing, rising temperature.  The frog will sit there until it dies.  If the frog had the ability to register the gradual changes as they were happening, it might live. 

Thanks to our frog in this story, the point of taking time for yourself is shown.  If we’re in a situation that is not healthy for us, we may not recognize the boiling temperature until we step back and assess our life and the situation.  The benefits of regularly taking time to step back and get on track are numerous:  relaxation, fresh perspective, and a renewed energy to build a life with more happiness, health, love, and wealth.

Remember the frog and avoid boiling situations in your life.  Make sure to regularly take time for yourself.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy

Accept Compliments

Some of us are as uncomfortable receiving compliments as we are receiving criticisms.  Some of us find it even more difficult to accept compliments than criticism.  We find ourselves discounting the compliment in some way.  To avoid appearing conceited or self-centered, we might think we should discredit the compliment.

In reality, discounting a compliment is an insult not only to ourselves but also to the person giving it.  Do any of these sound familiar?

Oh, it was really nothing.
It wasn’t that good.  I messed up in several places.
This thing?  It’s so old.
If you knew the truth, you wouldn’t think it was so great.
Well, thanks but _________ (you fill in the blank!)

Each of these comments is a subtle way of telling the person that they don’t know what they are talking about and are wrong.

When we have low self-esteem or a negative self-image and we hear a message that contradicts that image, the message is difficult to accept so we reject it.  The person that gives the compliment can feel shut down.

An effective strategy for accepting compliments is to remember that we are loveable and worthy.  Accepting a complimnt acknowledges both ourselves and the person giving it.  A simple way to accept a compliement is to say,” Thank you.  I appreciate that.” 

A compliment is a gift from the person saying it and to ourselves.  Give yourself the gift if a compliment.  You deserve it.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy

Your Inner Smiles

What are some things that make you smile?  Each of us have our own personal list of things that give us an inner warm glow.   Make a list of things that make you smile inside with an inner glow.  Here’s some examples for you to start your own list.  Give thoughtful consideration to each one before reading the next one.

1.    A brilliant sunrise or sunset.
2.    Having a list of errands that go smoothly and accomplish every single one on your list.
3.    Sharing an inside joke with a loved one, laughing together.
4.    Taking a drive on a pretty road.
5.    Taking a walk on a trail and listening to the sticks break as you walk.
6.    Listening to the rain outside.
7.    Sleeping on freshly washed, crisp sheets.
8.    Hearing your favorite song.
9.    Seeing one of my favorite type of birds.
10.  A great conversation.
11.  Flowers blooming.
12.  Finding $20 in your coat from last winter.
13.  Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
14.  Playing with your pet.
15.  Having a good hair day.
16.  Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
17.  Play on playground equipment at a park.
18.  Accomplishing a task and the fulfillment of doing a good job.
19.  No line at the grocery store.
20.  Holding hands with someone you love.
21.  Reading a book that you don’t want to put down.
22.  Eating a delicious piece of fresh, sweet fruit.
23.  Playing a board game with your friends and family.
24.  Knowing you’ve done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

What’s yours?  Enjoy!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy