One of the things I respect about bloggers that I’ve read and enjoyed the most is that they blog honestly.  They don’t always post the rainbows, roses and sunshine types of posts all the time.  Who has that every single day?  No one really does.  When people share the good, bad and ugly, it helps us to normalize our own life and experiences.  I share with you the real deal of what is going on.  I don’t think it is bad and ugly but it is a challenge.  I do believe that in all challenges there is an aspect of a life lesson or blessing that we get from it. 

I’m still having a challenging time in getting back on track with my food and exercise.  I am not motivated like I was before I got sick.  I have given so much thought as to why, what is going on with me and nothing really is.  I wish there was because then I could sort it out, deal with it and be stronger and better for it as I was continuing with my healthy lifestyle on track.  That is what normally happens for me but not this time.  This time, I’m going to have to live with this vague, ambiguous, uneasiness of not feeling the momentum of being solidly on track.

I am going to practice what I coach my clients to do until the momentum of being on track kicks in.  I’m going to give myself some extra TLC.  After work, I’m going to sit out on our back porch.  We have some bird feeders and I love to watch the birds on the feeders – especially the cardinals.  I’m also going to read while I’m out there.  I find when I change my physical location or environment that many times it also changes my perspective.  Hopefully this will help me feel less scattered and more centered in taking care of myself as that translates to my healthy habits and routine.

So, as I spring into Spring today and enjoy the new beginnings taking place outside, I hope the same happens for me inside too!

Happy (early) Spring!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, ACC-ICF, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

Who’s in charge?  Our emotions or us?  I don’t know about you but I want to be in charge of myself and my life.  Feelings are actually great barometers if we use them wisely.  When we are triggered and want to emotionally eat, it is a good gauge for us to know something is going on with us that we need to pay attention to.  Visualize yourself walking down a road and you get the urge to emotionally eat with your head hunger screaming at you.  You come to a fork in the road – do you eat or do you pause, spend the time to deal with the uncomfortable emotion or situation?  To lose weight and maintain the weight loss, it is imperative that we learn to deal with emotional eating.  If we don’t, we stay disconnected from our emotions and ourselves.  Emotional eating results in a total disconnect from ourselves.

We need to stop allowing our emotions drive your eating habits.  When we adopt healthy eating habits, that will drive our emotions, making us feel better. That emptiness that we feel cannot be filled with cupcakes and junk food as much as we’d like. If you are an emotional eater like I am, we must get to the root of our psychological problems without turning to food. In fact the answer is never found in food. It never is nor has it ever been.  The answer is always found in each of us. If we take the time to stop eating and do some inner search we’ll know this to be true.  The gratification of food is instantaneous yet very short-term.  The effects of the food are long-lasting in gaining weight and jeopardizing our health.  The gratification of finding the answer in ourselves takes time, patience and some effort.  However, that is the ultimate way to lose weight, maintain it and live a happy, fulfilled, our very best life.

To stop emotional eating, we need to be able to distinguish the difference between physical hunger cues and emotional (head) hunger.  The main difference is that physical hunger cues build up over time.  Emotional hunger comes on suddenly and usually craves something sweet, salty or crunch – normally an unhealthy food choice.  A person is able to satisfy physical hunger by eating something, however, can never satisfy emotional hunger. Emotional hunger is like an empty hole that is never full or satisfied. 

Usually when we feel the effects of emotional hunger, it is a craving for a specific food, that isn’t healthy most times. We feel a burning desire that cannot be quenched by nothing else. We must have that food. Physical hunger, on the other hand, can wait and we can eat any food we have to make it go away.

What makes emotional eating so dangerous to our health and waistline is the fact that after we eat we are still hungry. Emotional eating is irrational eating. It can never be satisfied and, in time, we will gain weight if we succumb often to emotional eating cravings.  When we gain weight, we feel worse which, in turn, makes us eat even more.  It is a viscious cycle of emotional eating – feeling badly about ourselves – since we feel bad about ourselves, we eat!  It starts an unhealthy eating spiral that gets worse and worse as time passes.

If you are an emotional eater like I am, don’t beat up on yourself.  All that will cause is for you to feel badly about yourself and dive further into the cycle of emotional eating.  Acknowledge that you are an emotional eater so you can get back connected to your emotions and yourself.

Here are some of the strategies I use to help me stop emotional eating:

* Learn to distinguish the difference in true physical hunger versus emotional/head hunger.  Sometimes head hunger can be so strong that it masquerades as physical hunger.

* Make a list of distractions or things you can do to ride out the craving and urge of emotional eating.  Some of mine are to call a friend, cruise the Internet for interesting, healthy websites, read a book, go outside to get out of the environment and change my perspective, brush my teeth, play a video game or my Nintendo DS, take a shower or anything else that comes to mind.  I have a list that I add to for things to do instead of eating.  Do anything else but eat!

* I imagine a tug of war – me versus the urge to eat.  Who wants to lose tug of war to some food choice??

So much of losing weight and maintaining our healthy weight is in our head.  It is a fantastic tool, along with our surgery, if we use it to our advantage.  Food has no power – we hold all the power. 

All the above methods work and will help you stop emotional eating.  The best strategy of all to put an end to emotional eating is being true to yourself, checking in with yourself to manage your emotions before you supress and stuff  them by overeating.  Remember, you are more than any external circumstances or emotions that can happen to you.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, ACC-ICF, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

Our feelings play a very important role when it comes to what we choose to eat and in what quantity. If we are happy, we make healthy choices, however, when we are unhappy (sad, bored, etc., etc.) a box of cookies or bag of chips are craved, we are abusing food for purposes it is not intended.  If we want to lose or maintain our weight and be healthy, we must take control of our emotions and stop emotional eating.  

One of my triggers has always been when I get sick.  I had been on track for an extended period of time.  Recently, I got sick for 2-1/2 weeks.  I felt really awful.  I craved comfort food and indulged somewhat and now I’m finding it difficult to get back on track with my food choices and return to my exercise regime.  Nothing in particular is going on that I can pinpoint but it feels very different than it was before I got sick.  You couldn’t have swayed my momentum.  Now, I struggle with my food choices and I am not motivated to exercise.  Frustrating and a bit scary.  I’m riding it out hoping that the same “loving” feeling of being on track kicks back in.

For many of us, myself included, emotions play a big part in our healthy lifestyle.  I’ve always been that way but didn’t acknowledge it – much less become aware of it – until after I had surgery.  My surgical tool helps but essentially it is up to me to manage my emotions.  Sometimes it is much easier and other times it is a struggle.  If I can identify why my emotional eating switch has been turned on, I am mostly successful in dealing with it and turning it off.  However, when that switch is turned on, for no obviously specific reason, it is much more difficult for me.

So….what am I trying to avoid, to bury and suppress?  I’m not sure right now.  What I am sure of is that I am going to outlast and be stronger than the urges of head hunger.  Sometimes we can control our emotions and other times we have to ride them out similar to a surfer riding a wave.  The wave of emotion I am faced with right now is a huge one.  I’m not sure what it is or what is causing the wave but it is there.  For today, I’m a surfer hanging 10 riding a rocky wave with commitment and confidence that it won’t overtake me.  I’ll ride it out and be stronger for it.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, ACC-ICF, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

I’ve bought them in the past.  Actually, before my surgery, I generously supported the Girl Scouts by buying many boxes.  Many times, I would be the customer that bought the most on the order sheet.  I even bought them after I had my surgery thinking I could just eat one.  LOL x 100!

I’ve finally learned that, for me, Girl Scout cookies and moderation do not exist.  I’ve tried moderation.  I put them in the freezer – frozen Girl Scout cookies are still delicious!  I even put them in the trunk of my car.  I found myself driving home after a rough day at work on the side of the busiest freeway in Southern California with an open trunk getting a box as cars sped by me at top speeds!!  So, I’ve given moderation with Girl Scout cookies the good try.  There are some food choices that moderation is lost on me.

No Girl Scout cookies for me.  I still support Girl Scouts but the cookies are given away.  This may sound limiting or restrictive to some.  It isn’t to me.  Knowing myself, really knowing myself without the excuses of they are for my family, or I’ll try it again or any other rationalizations is very freeing to me.  First off, I’m not depriving my family.  Girl Scout cookies aren’t exactly nutritional food.  They eat dessert type items, even cookies.  Knowing and acknowledging my triggers empowers me.  I admit that certain food choices are like kryptonite is to Superman.  Superman didn’t mess around with kryptonite thinking he could handle it.  He knew it weakened him and I know certain foods weaken me.  I am weakened physically and, most importantly to me, emotionally and mentally. 

I think much clearer, am more positive and happier when I eat healthy and indulge in “treat” types of foods that I can handle in moderation.  Girl Scout cookies, as many other food choices, are a temporary, fleeting indulgence but the effects are long lasting to me physically, emotionally and mentally.  I choose to be at my best and Girl Scout cookies don’t do that for me and thus are not worth it.

What is your kryptonite?

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, ACC-ICF, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

Sometimes the strongest longings for food happen when you’re at your weakest point emotionally. Many people turn to food for comfort — consciously or unconsciously — when they’re facing a difficult problem or looking to keep themselves occupied. 

But emotional eating — eating as a way to suppress or soothe negative emotions, such as stress, anger, anxiety, boredom, sadness and loneliness — can sabotage your weight-loss efforts. Often, emotional eating leads to eating too much food, especially high-calorie, sweet, salty and fatty foods.

The good news is that if you’re prone to emotional eating, you can take steps to regain control of your eating habits and get back on track with your weight-loss goals.

The connection between your mood and your food:

Major life events — such as unemployment, health problems and divorce — and daily life hassles — such as a stressful work commute, bad weather and changes in your normal routine — can trigger emotions that lead to overeating. But why do negative emotions lead to overeating?

Some foods may have seemingly addictive qualities. For example, when you eat certain foods, such as chocolate, your body releases trace amounts of mood-and satisfaction-elevating hormones. That “pay-off” may reinforce a preference for foods that are most closely associated with specific feelings. Related to this is the simple fact that the pleasure of eating offsets negative emotions.

Food can also be a distraction. If you’re worried about an upcoming event or rethinking an earlier conflict, eating comfort foods may distract you. But the distraction is only temporary. While you’re eating, your thoughts focus on the pleasant taste of your comfort food. Unfortunately, when you’re done overeating, your attention returns to your worries, and you may now bear the additional burden of guilt about overeating.

Though strong emotions can trigger cravings for food, you can take steps to control those cravings. To help stop emotional eating, try these suggestions:

• Learn to recognize true hunger. Is your hunger physical or emotional? If you ate just a few hours ago and don’t have a rumbling stomach, you’re probably not really hungry. Give the craving a few minutes to pass.
• Know your triggers. For the next several days, write down what you eat, how much you eat, when you eat, how you’re feeling when you eat and how hungry you are. Over time, you may see patterns emerge that reveal negative eating patterns and triggers to avoid.
• Look elsewhere for comfort. Instead of unwrapping a candy bar, take a walk, treat yourself to a movie, listen to music, read or call a friend. If you think that stress relating to a particular event is nudging you toward the refrigerator, try talking to someone about it to distract yourself. Plan enjoyable events for yourself.
• Don’t keep unhealthy foods around. Avoid having an abundance of high-calorie comfort foods in the house. If you feel hungry or blue, postpone the shopping trip for a few hours so that these feelings don’t influence your decisions at the store.
• Snack healthy. If you feel the urge to eat between meals, choose a low-fat, low-calorie food, such as fresh fruit, vegetables with fat-free dip or unbuttered popcorn. Or test low-fat, lower calorie versions of your favorite foods to see if they satisfy your craving.
• Eat a balanced diet. If you’re not getting enough calories to meet your energy needs, you may be more likely to give in to emotional eating. Try to eat at fairly regular times and don’t skip breakfast. Include foods from the basic groups in your meals. Emphasize whole grains, vegetables and fruits, as well as low-fat dairy products and lean protein sources. When you fill up on the basics, you’re more likely to feel fuller, longer.
• Exercise regularly and get adequate rest. Your mood is more manageable and your body can more effectively fight stress when it’s fit and well rested.

If you give in to emotional eating, forgive yourself and start fresh the next day or preferably the next meal. Try to learn from the experience, and make a plan for how you can prevent it in the future. Focus on the positive changes you’re making in your eating habits and give yourself credit for making changes that ensure better health. One cookie or a few chips don’t undo the results of your past efforts unless you continue on that track.

Remember, you are stronger than any emotion or circumstances that can occur outside of you.  Emotions, situations and the temporary feelings from eating are fleeting……what lasts is the confidence and pride you have in yourself when you stay strong.  You are stronger than food!!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, ACC-ICF, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

We hear all the time about loving yourself.  It sounds great.  “Yeah, sign me up for that as I want to love myself” sounds great but HOW do I do that?  For a long time, I really looked for ways to do that.  Become a wife, a mom, a best friend, a good friend, an outstanding employee, the most experienced and highly educationally trained coach were some of the places I looked for that self-love.  Problem is that those are external sources.  Important – yes, but didn’t really do it for me.  I was happy and fulfilled in those roles but self-love….hmmm, not really.

The feeling and experience of self-love eluded me.  I thought I had it but realized I really didn’t.  Why?  Because I didn’t accept myself.  You must accept first.  How do I accept myself when there are so many areas for improvement??  I wish my hair were thicker, I could use some plastics for excess skin, I wish I were better in geography, I wish I had longer eye lashes, I wish I hadn’t taken that Tootsie Roll out of my brother’s trick-or-treat bag when I was 7, I wish….I wish…..you get the idea. 

All of us have an “I wish” list about ourselves.  I’m not saying we shouldn’t try to improve and grow within ourselves.  I am a firm believer in doing everything I can in my own personal development to be the best person I can be.  Some things are worth working on and others just aren’t.  Earlier in my life, I expected perfection of myself.  Perfection in how I looked, how I acted, how I thought – everything!  Talk about unrealistic expectations!  None of us are and when I expected that of myself I was always going to fall short.  When I always fell short, my self-esteem, self-worth, and acceptance of myself were non-existent. 

Just as there are things that I wish were different, there are things that I accept, appreciate and love about myself.  In fact, some things that I perceived as faults and characteristics not to value, I now love about myself.  As just a few:  I am very self-reflective, I value above all else integrity and honesty in myself and others close in my life, I am a very feeling/emotion oriented person.  Being a feeling/emotion oriented person, for years, I was told that was a negative thing and to change that part of me.  I tried and tried.  I was a square peg trying to fit into a round hole situation.  I believe that is one of the reasons I’ve struggled with food issues and became morbidly obese is because I was trying to squelch part of who I truly am.  Now I celebrate my square peg-ness!  It makes me care deeply, committed and passionate about things and people in my life.  And, what do you know……when I’ve accepted and embraced those parts of me, I love myself and I get to feel joy about those parts of me.

The point here is to accept yourself.  Whatever – good, bad or ugly because what you may perceive as bad or ugly in all probability are the things that make you precious and who you are.  Celebrate precious YOU!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, ACC-ICF, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

I’m still going to blog the same sorts of posts with the goal of providing motivation, inspiration and information, I’m also going to make it more personalized.  I am a fan of other blogs that are posts about themselves and their lives.  I’m going to do a mix on here with you.  I would appreciate any input you have as far as what you enjoy, would like to see more of or less of. 

A few months ago, one of my sons had a severe allergic reaction that was very rare and even more scary.  Since this time, I’ve struggled with wanting (and indulging in a bit of) emotional eating.  I mean, after all, that’s been my crutch since a little girl.  Just because I had weight loss surgery doesn’t mean that coping strategy was bypassed too.  Through the years, I’ve learned to manage my emotions with non-food ways.  When a situation with my child came up that was so scary, I returned to what had worked before.  Reading a book, calling a friend, taking a walk and other coping habits I’ve developed didn’t work when it came to the health of my son.

The great news is that he is, for the most part, fine.  The immediate scare is behind us.  For me, the experience of those emotions remain.  Just like any experience, there are things to learn and benefit from.  I will be blogging about some of that to share with you here. I’ll also share about personal, every day things as well.  One of the things I’ve picked up from the blogs I’m a fan of is that when we share about ourselves, it can normalize our own emotions and things in our own lives. 

One of the things I’ve come to define as one of the triggers for me to emotionally eat are “FFA’s” which are Free Floating Anxiety.  When the situation with my son occurred, it was easy to identify why I wanted to drive thru Krispy Kreme for boxes of glazed donuts.  There are times that I feel a trigger to eat and I don’t know why.  Everything is going okay, nothing specific is upsetting me that I can put my finger on yet the head hunger is screaming in my head.  When I can identify the emotion and become aware that I’m triggered, most of the time I can overcome it and deal with the trigger healthfully.  There are those other times that I’m just plain uncomfortable and don’t know why yet the trigger is pulled for emotional eating.  So help me identify what is going on so I can deal with it appropriately, I acknowledge my FFA’s. 

I don’t know the source of my FFA’s most of the time.  Who knows and actually who cares.  If I’m experiencing FFA’s, that is all that matters at the time.  I am aware of my uncomfortable feeling, identify it as FFA and then deal with it by distracting myself in some way.  I have found that if I get absorbed in something else that:  (1) I don’t emotionally eat, (2) the FFA dissipates, and (3) I’m happy that I outlasted the FFA in a healthy way.  I exercised my internal muscle of being more than any emotion or external situation that occurs.  That feeling is great!!  When we use any muscle, whether physically or emotionally and mentally, it gets stronger.

For today:  I will continue to exercise my physical and emotional/mental muscles to become stronger inside and out.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, ACC-ICF, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

What do I mean by “fill up on happiness?” I mean choose to find happiness—not negativity, gossip, mind-numbing TV shows, or empty calories—in the world around you. The following tips, techniques, and happiness quotes should get you started.

1.  Focus on the journey, not the destination.  At the end of the day, happiness is not about the big house, the money, the jewelry or any material goods. The thrill is in the satisfaction of pushing our envelope and living our best life.  Happiness lives in the meaning and purpose we find in our lives.  This past weekend, my family had a bbq.  We sat around our 4-person circle table on the back patio and ate together, laughed together, and enjoyed being together.  That was one of the most happiness times I’ve felt this week.  Happy times don’t necessarily include going on a cruise but can be experience in your own back patio table.  Melt into the process. Enjoy the ride. Happiness guaranteed!

2.  Celebrate a memory, your brilliance, your authentic style, your family, your animals, nature and/or your clean closets! Celebrate anything and everything that brightens your heart. If you find one thing to celebrate every day, your mind will soon automatically search for things to celebrate. Imagine that… your mind on automatic pilot, searching for happy things to celebrate.

3.  One needs to expend an awful lot of energy to hold onto anger and resentment. And at the end of the day, who is it hurting? If you take a hot coal and intend to throw it, before you let go, who does it burn? You!  Same way with anger and resentment.  You get burned.  Certainly not the people to whom you are directing your bitterness and hostility. Those negative feelings are swirling through your own psyche and body. So let them go and enjoy a path toward feeling lighter, freer, and happier. In the end, you could consider forgiveness the best kind of selfish act, as it benefits you as much as anyone else.

4. Rather than focusing on what you haven’t achieved (and believe me, you are not alone!), why not focus on what you have accomplished and give yourself credit where credit is due? No holds barred. No thoughts that negate your triumphs or happy moments.

Right now, write down your successes, your favorite memories, your blessings and things you are thankful for. You can even project happy happenings into the future. Feel that happy energy swirling upward?  It may be big things but actually the smaller things are usually more meaningful.

5.  Exercise and activity stimulates the brain to release endorphins and increases the production of the neurotransmitter serotonin, the body’s natural mood elevator! Schedule 30 minutes a day to get out there and shake it, baby! Walk, dance, run, jump up and down, twirl in circles, just plain play… move any way you can and feel happy.

6.  Get rid of those energy drainers.  Anything and anyone (yep, people especially can drain your energy) that depletes your energy or you are tolerating in your life.  Get those unpleasant, little, pesky tasks done, now! They are sapping your energy and weighing you down. They are hanging over your head. Free yourself of this mental clutter, and clear space for happiness!

7.  Eat healthy, fresh foods.  Yes, those Ding Dongs and Ho Ho’s may taste good temporarily but they don’t do your body any favors…..they add no, zero nada nutrition and actually with all the sugar, fat and the drain on your body, they actually do harm to your body.  When you eat healthfully, your body thanks you and even your mood is elevated as well.

8.  Stress, upset, and negative feelings can register in the body as tight shoulders, stomach cramps, stiff neck, or a headache. Some recommended ways to release this physical tension are to laugh, chant or sing, breathe deeply, get a massage, or sit in a sauna or steam room. It’s important to take care of your body in whatever way works for you.

9.  Do a random act of kindness.  Want to create an upward happiness spiral that not only affects you, but in turn expands and spirals out there (woo hoo!) enhancing the world-wide happiness quotient? Do something nice for someone else! It’s that simple. Plant one seed of happiness – just one – and it has the potential to grow and spread. The other day we were at a restaurant and there was an elderly gentleman that received his checkand took the change out of his pocket counting it out to pay for his bill.  It seems as though he was short because he kept searching his pockets, his eyes were watery and he was shaking his head.  We paid for his meal at the same time we paid for ours.  We were so happy for the rest of the day.  My sons talked for the rest of the day about how surprised he would be when he went to the counter to pay his bill.

10.  Practice an attitude of gratitude daily.  We can be collectors of injustices – we can continually feel  slighted, empty, and unhappy because of all the injustices (both real and imagined) that have fallen upon us. Or, we can count our blessings, feel joyful and happy, and cultivate gratitude. Every night before you go to bed, jot down at least 5 things that you are grateful for. You may be grateful for the obvious – food, shelter, clothing, a job, or some more subtle things, like smiles from strangers, a ripe piece of fruit, or the bus arriving just as you get to the stop. As you strengthen your gratitude muscle, you’ll find that your life is filled with more blessings than you realized.

11.  Do something daily to create a moment for yourself.  It could be something as simple as watching birds outside in the trees, watching children playing, dancing to a catchy tune, playing with your pet(s), reading a favorite book, or whatever moment you can grab in your day that gives you a moment of pause and happiness.

When you fill up your heart with happiness, joy, and living your best life, you are truly full of what matters.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, ACC-ICF, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

Sometimes, you wish to go for a walk, knowing how good it is for your health and how wonderful you feel afterwards, yet, you feel too lazy, and prefer to watch TV instead. You might be aware of the fact that you need to change your eating habits or stop grazing, yet, you don’t have the inner power and persistence to change these habits.

Does this sound familiar? How many times have you said, “I wish I had will power and self discipline”? How many times have you started to do something, only to quit after a short while? We all have had experiences like these.

Everyone possesses some addictions or habits they wish they could overcome, such as emotional eating, grazing, excessive eating, laziness, procrastination or lack of assertiveness. To overcome these habits or addictions, one needs to have will power/won’t power and self discipline. They make a great difference in everyone’s life, and bring inner strength, self mastery and decisiveness.

You need both of them in order to rule your thoughts and to be the boss of your mind. The stronger they are, the more control you have over your thoughts, and consequently your powers of concentration get stronger.

When you are the master of your mind you enjoy inner peace and happiness. Outer events do not sway you, and circumstances have no power over your peace of mind. This might sound too unreal for you, but experience will prove to you that all the above is true.

These abilities are essential for self growth, spiritual growth and meditation. They give you control over your daily life, help you improve your habits and behavior, and they are the keys to every success.

Practice the exercises presented here earnestly and persistently, and you will go really far.

Believe In Yourself!
Cathy, ACC-ICF, CLC
Certified Back On Track Facilitator
Weight Loss Surgery Coach

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator
Bariatric University Instructor