Friends as Family and Your Self-Esteem
Family isn’t limited to the people you share DNA. Friends as family are the family that you choose. Self-esteem starts in childhood. Your concept of self-esteem and loving yourself begin very early in our lives. If we are born into a family that is dysfunctional, self-esteem and loving yourself is thwarted. All we know is our family of origin. If those people are dysfunctional, our self-worth and self-esteem suffer. Whether our family of origin had addiction issues or a dynamic of narcissism (narcissism whether you’re a son or daughter), think of it as “garbage in-garbage out” for our self-esteem. If we’ve felt that we are a square peg trying to fit into a circular hole as children or even as an adult, we felt something was defective or wrong with us. We didn’t belong or fit in. Rather than beat yourself up and try to be a circle to fit in, embrace that you’re a square peg! Celebrate that you aren’t a circle peg! You aren’t limited to think of family of those with the same DNA as you. Loving friends as family love that you are a square peg!
Friends as Family Allows You to Create Your Own Family.
When you were a child, all you knew is what was around you. If you grew up in dysfunction, that was the way it was supposed to be. Now that we are adults, we can take control over our lives. You were born into whatever situation with the people that were in your lives as children. As adults, we can choose who we have in our lives. We don’t have to nix our family of origin but we can see them in a different light than we did as children. Now we are responsible for our own self-esteem and who we allow into our hearts and lives in a meaningful way. For many people, loved and trusted friends as family allow us to FLY – Fully Love Yourself.
“Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.” ~Edna Buchanan
Friends as Family: Pick your “family” now as an adult.
Family isn’t limited to DNA. The good news is DNA is a function of biology. The even better news is that family is so much more than DNA. Family, as an adult, can be the people that you choose. Friends as family, true friends, can be family. Even though you don’t share DNA, friends can be even better than family. You were not responsible for your family of origin but you can choose who is in your life now that are loving, nurturing and are healthy relationships.
“If one is desperate for love, I suggest looking at one’s friends and family and see if love is all around. If not, get a new set of friends, a new family.“ ~Jasmine Guy
The friends I’m talking about are not the transitional friends that come in/out of our lives, limited as only Facebook friends or fair-weather friends. My definition of “friends as family” are those people that are always there for always there for us. They are unconditional, accept you as you are, have your back, you can disagree with but not ding your relationship, tell you the way it is, love, care, nurture, and you feel safe and comfortable in being the true you.
Responsibility for Your Self-Esteem to FLY.
You couldn’t help the garbage in/garbage out as a child but you can now. Take control of who you allow in your heart in such a way that they love and nurture you so you can Fully Love Yourself (FLY), grow and maintain your self-esteem, have a healthy self-worth, and accept yourself for WHO YOU ARE and not what some group of people that you share DNA with want you to be.
This post is dedicated to my own friend(s) as family. I’m grateful.