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Posted by in Maintenance | 2 comments

Your Safe Place and Safe People

This is a very personal topic for me.  Like most of us, we have stressors in our lives.  Work, economy, financial, personal, health, etc. can be overwhelming and cause us to turn to food or other ways to comfort ourselves.  My hand is raised here for the food to comfort myself.  Sometimes it feels as though I’m in a war zone trying to survive from the issues in my life.  Instead of turning to unhealthy behaviors to calm ourselves and merely survive, turn to your safe place and safe people.

What is Your Safe Place?

We will be going on vacation to my very favorite place in the world.  It is a place that reaches a deep part of me that feeds my soul.  I’ve lived in one of the most popular cities in the country and lived in a small house on the beach yet that wasn’t my safe place.  It didn’t feed my soul so didn’t fit the safe place inside of me.  To me, my safe place feeds my soul in a deep way.  A safe place recharges, rejuvenates and touches you in a deep way.

A safe place can be your own backyard or someplace that touches you in a deep way.  As I’m looking forward to going on our vacation, it is more about where we are going than being off from work and the daily routine.  For other safe places I use, I can go in my backyard and enjoy the birds at my bird feeder or at my computer and watch the new baby eagles on the eagle cam.  Another safe place – or safe activity, is going on Pinterest and lo0king at the images and sayings that resonate with me.  It takes me out of whatever is draining me and allows me to focus on what the images and sayings that touch me.  My definition of my safe place is anything that takes me from the chaos of external situations or people to things that touch me deeply.

Who are Your Safe People?

This is an important question.  To identify the safe people in your life, it requires you to really be honest about your relationships.  Safe people aren’t necessarily people that you think should be.  Don’t consider people safe just because you want them to be.  This is important for me to say because I’ve done that in the past.  I wanted certain people to be something that they just weren’t.  Safe people nurture you in a deep way.  They know you for who you really are – life warts and all – and love and accept you anyway.  They don’t try to change you or don’t accept you but love and accept you just as you are.  They don’t have an agenda that you play a part in.  Safe people are very rare, and far and few between.  Don’t mistake safe people as your family just because of the shared DNA.  A safe person isn’t necessarily someone you’ve known for years.  A safe person can be family or a long term friend.  You can love someone without necessarily defining them as one of your safe people.

Fill Your Stomach or Fill Your Heart?

We have chaos (and drama) in our lives.  When I’m overwhelmed or deeply upset by someone or a situation, I go to one of my safe places and I turn to one of my safe people.  When I’m in one of my safe places, I feel a sense of calm and at peace.  When I’m with one of my safe people, I also feel calm and at peace.  Rather than trying to cope and escape with comfort foods, turn to your safe place and safe people.  In a chaotic world, find your own sense of safety which brings you calm, peace and a feeling of being full of joy.  Before you indulge in emotional eating, don’t fill yourself with the temporary fix of food but fill yourself with those safe people and places that bring you deep joy.


  1. This has the kind of info I am looking for as I have been trying to lose my 40+lb regain for the past year without success and have figured it is more mental than just physical…need to get my confidence back. Appreciate article about feeling emotionally safe.

  2. I have had a resent (past 6 months) 14 pound gain since my VS in 2011. I am scared to death that I can’t stop this roller coaster. So I came to the internet in search of some help and I found your page. I was so happy to find something that made since to me that did not tell me to go walk/exercise. I do my part (most of the time) in that department and not something I am going to do any extra of, so I am so grateful that I found what you wrote.

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