Weight Loss Purpose Statement, Part 5

When I started this project, I didn’t realize what I was getting into.  It is quite a deep subject that has taken me some time to give it the thought and consideration it deserves.  I really want this to be something meaningful that will help me and be a substantial tool to combat emotional eating.

So, the next portion will be to expand on my third reason of why I want to lose/maintain my weight.  It is:
3.   To be capable to meet any challenges (physical, mental, emotional) that come my way.  One of the survivors of the Hudson plane crash commented that he was physically able to meet the conditions to secure his survival.  Mental and emotional challenges to overcome and not allow to get the best of me.

When I wrote this, what came to mind was a hot air balloon accident we were in a few years ago.  When I read about the Hudson plane crash survivors, I also thought about my hot air balloon accident too.

Quite a few years before my surgery, for our wedding anniversary, my husband surprised me with a hot air balloon ride.  When we landed, the trip included a romantic picnic.  Sounds wonderful, right?  Honestly, if he had told me about it before, I would have nixed it.  Not because it didn’t sound romantic because it did but because I was so heavy.  I didn’t know what all was involved but I filtered everything (and I do mean everything) about my body size and weight.  Little did I know what was ahead.

My first “in my face” reminder that I was morbidly obese was getting into the balloon.  I was so heavy that I couldn’t climb into the balloon.  I wasn’t strong enough to lift up myself enough to climb in.  My husband and another man had to lift me up to get in.  Ugh.  As I sit here typing it, I feel the humiliation all over again.  Okay, finally, I was in.  The rest should be fine, right?  No, not right.  We’re cruising along.  The guy that was flying it had to move around the balloon.  There were two other couples with us in the basket.  The guy had a hard time getting around me to pilot the balloon.  I didn’t enjoy the ride and beautiful scenery because I was too focused on getting out of his way.    I was counting the time until this romantic ride was over!!

Next, the guy was becoming stressed.  He started talking into the walkie talkie that we were in trouble.  We were running out of the fuel to keep the balloon in the air.  At the time (and still today), I wondered if it was due to my weight.  That may sound paranoid but it isn’t.  I’m a pilot and I know that you have to calculate the weight of the plane to fuel usage.  Was that the problem here in my romantic hot air balloon ride?  I suspect it was.  So when it was obvious we were not going to make it back, the guy was experienced enough that we “crashed” into the side of a slope.  It wasn’t a crash and burn type of incident but we had to land it in the best place possible and it was into the side of a slope.  Whew, romantic ride over.  Unfortunately, more humiliation to come…..

Getting out of the balloon proved equally challenging as getting into the thing.  Once I was hoisted out of the balloon came hiking up to the top of the inclined slope.  It was extremely physically challenging for me.  The other passengers of course were way ahead of me as I strenuously tried to make my way up.  Again, more humiliation because I was way behind the others with my husband helping me along the way.  With each step, I was looking forward to my romantic trip being over.  The ultimate in humiliation was waiting for me at the top…..

When I finally made it to the top, my face was beet red, sweating profusely as I tried to present a fun, easy-going appearance.  At the top of the slope were the backs of homes.  Almost all of the homes in this area have very tall privacy fences.  So, in order to be picked up and “rescued” we had to climb a fence to walk to where our chase vehicle was waiting for us.  I could not climb over a tall privacy fence.  No way.  I had my husband, the hot air balloon guy and two other passengers trying to push me over the fence.  No go, wasn’t going to happen.  At this point, I remember wishing with everything I had that I was that lady on the old show “Bewitched”  and could wiggle my nose and make this all go away.  Unfortunately, no such luck.  My romantic experience was still going on.

When it was obvious I could not be hoisted over anything, my husband and I had to walk along the many houses trying to find either a shorter fence or the rarity of a home that didn’t have a fence.  The balloon guy and the rest of the passengers walked over to where our chase vehicle was waiting for us.  My husband and I walked what seemed to be forever.  Every single house had a tall privacy fence.  We walked by hundreds of houses and it took a long time.  Finally, there was a house without a fence so we were able to walk back into civilization.  Is this romantic torture over?  Nope, not quite!!

We had walked so far trying to find a house without a fence that we were far away from the chase vehicle waiting for us.  We walked for a long time, not knowing this area, to find the chase vehicle.  This was before the luxury of cell phones so we had to try and find them.  It took forever.  After about 45 minutes, we found them waiting quite impatiently for us.  All of the passengers were very irritated they had to wait so long for us.  It was a very quiet ride back to the place where our romantic picnic was waiting for us.  The cold food was warm and the warm food was cold.  I’d had enough romance for one day and we immediately left.

I was mortified and humiliated by the whole thing.  I cried all the way home.  My husband felt terrible that his romantic experience to treasure for our lifetime had turned out the way it did.  While I tried to reassure him, my self-esteem and self-worth sunk to a new low.  While that experience was not life-threatening, what if it had been?  What if it had been an experience like the passengers of the Hudson plane crash that needed physical strength and mobility to survive?  My self-esteem and self-worth would not have mattered because I sincerely question if I would have made it.

To go back to my reason #3 above, these are physical challenges which are certainly of huge importance.  Also are the emotional and mental challenges that are of equal importance.  My physical challenges did get the best of me.  So, for my Weight Loss Purpose Statement, #3 will be a mandatory part of my statement.  I am MORE THAN a challenge that comes along and by a healthy weight physically, and a healthy lifestyle to promote emotional and mental health, I will be strong and able to meet those challenges.

I no longer want to allow any physical, emotional or mental challenge to victimize me.  I am strong and more than _________ (fill in the blank)!!

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, ACC-ICF, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator