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11 Steps to Increase Your Self-Respect

Self-respect is important.  Self-respect is a part of the foundation to FLY – Fully Love Yourself.  Self-respect prevents becoming a doormat, prevents the disease to please of people-pleasing.  One of the essentials to loving yourself is self-respect.  The way to respect yourself and to gain self-respect is a process.  You don’t just wake up one day and BAM have self-respect.  After you’ve listened to Aretha Franklin belt out her famous song “R-E-S-P-E-C-T,” check out, print out (or both!) the 11 steps to self-respect that are listed below.  Instead of only singing along with Aretha’s R-E-S-P-E-C-T but have your very own “S-E-L-F   R-E-S-P-E-C-T” in your life.


SET GOALS.  People that set goals AND achieve them are not only rewarded for accomplishing their goal but also confidence in themselves with the result of respecting yourself.  Sure, praise from others is nice but what really matters is the inner feeling of accomplishing your goal and self-respect.  That “I DID IT” is an awesome feeling.  You did something that is important to you.  By setting goals, you decide what you value —> make the commitment to yourself that you are going to do it. That “I DID IT” is an awesome feeling and is an all systems go path to self-respect.

EXERCISEIf you live like crap, you feel like crap.  The word “exercise” can make you (me!!) go “UGH.”  That being said, when we exercise, move our bodies as they were meant to be, include activity in our everyday life, we simply feel better.  Exercise doesn’t mean body-building, going to the gym every single day no matter what.  Exercise can be something fun such as riding a bike like you did as a kid, dance, take a walk to enjoy Mother Nature and the little things you see along your walk.  Motivate to activate your body with exercise and you’ll substantially elevate your self-respect .  Think of your exercise time as your “ME TIME” which is a special way to FLY.

LOVE YOURSELFLoving yourself is the foundation of self-esteem and all the good things that come from having a healthy self-esteem.  Self:  Respect, Acceptance, Worth are the result of FLY – Fully Loving Yourself.  To truly FLY is a daily gift that grows and keeps on giving the best gift of all to you, part of the foundation to FLY is self-respect.

FOCUS ON THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE.  Take an inventory of your life.  How are your relationships with your family and friends?  Are they healthy?  Do they enhance your life or drain you?  How is your job and career?  Again, does it drain you or do you enjoy what you do?  Bored?  Take a class, get a new hobby or anything that is fun for you.  Make adjustments with the focus on the quality of your life.  When you take this life inventory, your filter is self-respect.  Are these aspects of my life drain me or reflect my self-respect.

REST AND RELAXR&R is important to respecting yourself.  We are always “on” with the virtual world we live in.  We email, text, Twitter, Facebook and our cell phones attached to us like a body part.  Unplug to relax and rest.  When we’re always on, relaxing suffers.  When you feel relaxed and rested, you’re at your best.  When you’re at your best —-> Self-Respect!

EAT HEALTHY.  Taking care of your body by eating healthfully is taking care of you.  If you eat crap, you feel like crap.  Anytime you take care of yourself, you respect yourself AND gain self-respect.

SLEEP.  Getting enough good quality sleep is essential to our physical and mental well-being.  If you operate on a sleep deficiency, you aren’t at your best.  Inadequate hours of sleep and/or low quality of sleep impacts your overall outlook.  When you get enough solid sleep, you are energized.  When you’re at your best, self-respect is abundant.

POSITIVITY.  Are you a half-empty or half-full person?  If you have a half-empty default in how you view things, you tend to operate in a negative mode.  If you generally navigate yourself in a positive way, you have a better sense of well-being.  Think of a rose….do you focus on the beauty of the bloom or the thorns?  Enjoy the blooms in your life.

ENJOY YOUR LIFEWhen you enjoy your life, you naturally have self-respect.  To enjoy your life, it is merely a matter of the way you feel and what you bring in your life.  “What you bring in your life” isn’t how much money you have, how many material things you own or what car your drive.  It is a matter of how you feel about your life, how you feel living in your own skin.  Your bank account, your car, your home or job title will make you happy and enjoy your life.  Enjoying your life is an inside thing.  Truly enjoying your life is inside you, not dependent externally.

COMPASSIONCompassion for others and ourselves.  For many of us (my hand is raised here), it comes naturally to feel compassion for others but more difficult to extend that same compassion for ourselves.  Anytime we give to others, we also give to ourselves.  Compassion for ourselves isn’t beating ourselves for (perceived) imperfections or short-comings.  Treat ourselves with the same compassion that we give to anyone that we love.  Anyone that we love includes ourselves.  Compassion to ourselves results in self-respect.

TALK TO YOURSELF – WHAT DO YOU SAY?  The inner dialogue that we have with ourselves is critical to self-respect and loving ourselves.  Tune in and pay attention to what you say to yourself.  The most important conversation we have is our inner self-talk.  Focus on what you say to yourself.  Would you talk that way to anyone that you love?  If not, change it!  Treat yourself, talk to yourself just as you would with anyone that you love……because, you FLY (Fully Loving Yourself)!

11 steps to self-respect are a lot to remember when you’re on the FLY in your day-to-day life.  You can remember these 11 steps because the first letter of every one of the 11 steps spell out S-E-L-F  R-E-S-P-E-C-T.


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