Do You Give To Yourself As You Do Others?
How much of your time and energies do you spend on yourself? Do you give to yourself with the same care and determination that you give to others?
One of my sons really liked a water mug that my other son uses. (Note to Self – Always, always buy two no matter what!). I bought this water mug two or three years ago and I don’t remember where I bought it. I took to the Internet to find this water mug. With my friend Google, I searched on probably 100 various sites to find this water mug. I was searching for hours looking for this water mug to no avail. It wasn’t a big deal to him but it was to me as his mom. Both of my sons are focused on their health (teenage boys, need I say more?). Drinking sufficient water daily is one of their goals. This water mug is cool and a great aid for water consumption. I wanted to support my son with this important goal and habit so I wanted to find it for him. After I’d spent the better part of the morning and half of the afternoon, a thought popped into my head “Why don’t you use the same persistence and determination to give to yourself?” Hmmm, that’s a great question!
I reflected back on the Christmas gifts I bought for my family and a couple of close friends. I take such care to buy just the perfect gift for those special people in my life. Do I put in the same care (persistence and determination) for myself as I do for others? The answer for me is a resounding NO. Ask yourself the same question – Do you give to yourself in the same way you give to others?
When it comes to doing something for my husband, sons or a friend, I’ll generally make it happen. Yet, taking the time to make a healthy meal or especially exercise, I tend to put my needs and promises I’ve made to myself on the back burner. Using the water mug example, if that had been for me, I might have checked Amazon and if not there, I’d have blown it off.
True, this was a water mug but you get where I’m going here. I’ll move mountains for others in my life but much less for myself. This silly water mug example really got me to thinking about if I give to myself or, for my LWFL friends here, do you give to yourself? I’m not talking about being selfish or being a martyr. But the difference in the pure gift of persistence, dedication and determination for someone I love compared to what I’d give to myself results in a big difference in comparison. When you make yourself a priority, you benefit AND others in your life do too. If you are overwhelmed, stressed out and burned out, you can get depleted to give to anyone else. When you take better care of yourself and be the best that you can be, you have more to give to yourself and others too. WIN/WIN!
Since we’re knocking on the door of a New Year, lots of goals will be made – some reached but the statistics show that most goals will be dropped by the end of January or certain by the end of the first quarter of the year. It is very true that when you give the best of yourself to yourself, the better and happier you are for yourself AND others.
I’ve written about this before on taking care of yourself, because it is important to check with yourself to make sure that you give to yourself. Sometimes we can get so busy from the daily have to’s, to do lists, and our daily routine that to give to yourself is just another thing to do. I’ll spend hours of time and tons of energy for a water mug for my son or just the perfect Christmas gift for a special friend, yet I wouldn’t do the same for myself. If you answer the question – do you give to yourself the same way I do, then create a new goal to be the loving recipient as others in your life.
“It’s not selfish to give TO yourself as much as you give OF yourself”
– Suze Orman
“In order to give of yourself to others, you must first have something to give. So, enjoy life. Have fun. Indulge yourself. Be good to yourself. How can you hope to bring happiness to others if you are not happy?”
– Ralph Marston
How To Give To Yourself:
1. INCLUDE “ME TIME” IN YOUR DAY: Make time in your day to do something that you enjoy doing or important to you. As an example, I found an e-book that I’ve been reading. From reading some of it each day, I feel more rejuvenated for the rest of my day, my work and my family. Make your “Me Time” a priority. Your “Me Time” should be something you look forward to whether it is reading a book, exercising, playing a game on your smart phone, coloring in a color book (yep, I have a client that LOVES her color time as her “Me Time”).
2. DON’T SAY “YES” WHEN YOU WANT TO SAY “NO”: Don’t try to be all things to all people in your life. The simple act of saying “no” will protect your time and energies, and prevent overwhelm. When someone asks you to do something, take a breath-pause-or tell them you’ll need to get back to them. Don’t have the instant “yes” on the tip of your tongue. In some circumstances, when you say “yes” to others, you are saying “no” to yourself and other things more important to you.
3. REGULARLY CHECK YOUR “BANK ACCOUNT”: Think of giving to yourself as you do a healthy bank account. You make regular withdrawals and funds can run low. Make sure you are making adequate deposits of money in your account. For a healthy bank account, you must keep your withdrawals and deposits in check and balanced. An empty bank account will be frozen and not useful to anyone – including you! Protect the asset of YOU, YOUR TIME, YOUR ENERGIES.
4. USE YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE: What makes you feel loved, special or what is fun to you? As an example, my sons have very different love languages. For one son, spending time talking together makes him feel special and loved. For my other son, he would rather “do something” (other than talking!!) like playing a board game or doing something creative. What is fun for you? For me, I love to take drives in the country and take photos. For a friend of mine, it is getting together with a group of people to have dinner and drinks. Determine what your love language is and what is fun for you…..then, DO IT.
Looking back, I’d probably still try to find the now infamous water mug for my son just as I did but I’d also do the same for me if it was important to me and with the same determination. Although I didn’t find the water mug, I found a great insight which is to give to myself too. Another great insight is that I’m one very determined person when I set my mind to something! LOL.